Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix verb forms and article use.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different city and country views. For example, when I visit a new country I take many photos of streets and landmarks, so I often run out of phone storage and have to organize or delete images regularly.

提案: Give a direct answer then explain with clear reasons. Use linking words (however, because, so) and correct vocabulary (urban/rural, skyline, countryside). Avoid fillers and incomplete sentences.

例: I don't have a strong preference, but I slightly prefer urban views because I enjoy city skylines and architectural details. For instance, I like photographing modern buildings and busy streets because they feel energetic, and later I enjoy looking at these photos at home to remember the atmosphere.

提案: Answer clearly and give specific reasons with correct grammar. Replace vague phrases with precise points and use linking words (for example, because, which). Avoid contradictory wording like "can't feel interested."

例: I usually prefer views in other countries because I enjoy seeing different architectural styles and cultural settings. For example, foreign buildings often have shapes and details I haven't seen at home, which I find fascinating and relaxing to photograph.

× Yes, I love taking pictures view of different cities or country.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of different cities or countries.

Missing preposition and incorrect noun form: 'pictures view of' should be 'pictures of' (preposition error classified under present participle context of verb+preposition). Also 'country' should be plural 'countries' to match 'different' and 'cities'. Suggestion: use 'pictures of different cities or countries'. Note: This primarily involves preposition use and pluralization; corrected to fit the sentence.

× So usually when I visited the other country I too I takes a lot of pictures so usually I don't have much space in my phone and I mean the story is easy so I have to organize it.

✓ So usually when I visit another country I also take a lot of pictures, so I don't have much space on my phone and the story is long, so I have to organize them.

Tense and agreement errors: 'when I visited' suggests past but context is habitual; use present tense 'when I visit'. 'I too I takes' has subject-verb agreement and extra pronoun; use 'I also take'. Preposition: 'space in my phone' should be 'space on my phone'. 'the story is easy' likely intended 'the storage is full' or 'the story is long' — assumed 'the storage is full' but preserved sense by 'the story is long' and changed 'it' to plural 'them' for 'pictures'. Suggestion: Use consistent present simple for habitual actions, correct subject-verb agreement, and proper prepositions.

× I don't have a strong preference, but it uh, uh, I think usually our bonds because when I, when I take a picture of urban cave, I feel really relaxed and comfortable.

✓ I don't have a strong preference, but I usually prefer urban scenes because when I take a picture of an urban area, I feel really relaxed and comfortable.

Word choice and structure errors: 'our bonds' is incorrect; likely meant 'urban' or 'I usually prefer urban scenes'. 'urban cave' is incorrect collocation; use 'urban area' or 'urban scene'. 'but it uh, uh, I think usually' is disfluent; simplified to 'but I usually prefer'. Suggestion: Choose correct nouns ('urban area/scene') and simplify fillers for clarity.

× And after seeing the picture at home, it may.

✓ And after seeing the pictures at home, I feel the same relaxation.

Incomplete sentence: 'it may' is a fragment without clear subject or verb. Provide a complete clause that conveys intended meaning. Suggestion: Complete the thought, e.g., 'I feel the same relaxation' or 'it makes me feel relaxed'.

× Usually I prefer seeing the other country views because umm I love the seeing different view of different architecture shapes because I can't feel interested and also it makes us relaxed.

✓ Usually I prefer seeing views from other countries because I love seeing different architectural styles; they interest me and also make me feel relaxed.

Tense and word choice: 'the other country views' should be 'views from other countries'. Remove extra 'the' and correct pluralization. 'the seeing different view of different architecture shapes' is ungrammatical; use 'seeing different architectural styles'. 'I can't feel interested' is incorrect; use 'they interest me' or 'I find them interesting'. 'it makes us relaxed' should be 'they make me feel relaxed' to match subject and singular/plural. Suggestion: Use clear noun phrases ('architectural styles'), correct plural forms, and proper verbs for emotions ('interest', 'make me feel relaxed').