Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 문장 구조를 바로잡아 자연스럽고 명확하게 말하세요. 주어와 동사의 일치(It's → I)와 복수/단수 형태를 고쳐야 합니다. 또한 주제를 바로 제시하는 topic sentence(예: I enjoy taking photos of different views.)를 말하고, 이유와 구체적 예시를 1~2문장으로 이어지게 연결어(so/because/which)로 연결하세요. 발음과 연결어 사용을 연습해 답이 5문장을 넘지 않도록 간결하게 유지하세요.

例: I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it’s fun and helps me notice new details. For example, when I photograph a city skyline, I often discover interesting patterns of light and shadow. This makes photography both relaxing and inspiring for me.

提案: 문법(관사와 단수/복수)과 문장 흐름을 개선하세요. ‘urban area’ 대신 ‘urban areas’ 혹은 ‘the city’처럼 자연스러운 표현을 사용하고, 이유는 연결어(because/so)로 매끄럽게 이어가세요. 고유명사(예: Bernadia)가 실제 장소라면 간단한 설명을 덧붙여 구체성을 높이세요. 전체 답변은 주제문 + 이유 + 구체적 예시 형태로 구성하세요.

例: I prefer views in urban areas because cities have a unique atmosphere, especially at night. For instance, the skyline and illuminated streets of Bernadia create a lively and dramatic scene that I enjoy photographing.

提案: 문장을 더 명확하고 자연스럽게 재구성하세요. ‘I prefer views in other countries’로 시작한 뒤, 이유는 because로 연결하고 구체적 근거(문화적 차이, 색감, 건축 양식 등)를 제시하세요. 불필요한 반복(‘in other countries’ 여러 번 사용)을 피하고 연결어(for example/which)로 문장을 정리하세요.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they let me experience different cultures and atmospheres. For example, the architecture and street life in a foreign city often have colors and details I don’t see at home, which makes taking photos more exciting.

× It's are like taking picture of different view because it is fun I can find something new in different way.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views because it's fun; I can find something new in different ways.

The original sentence has multiple structure problems: extra verb 'are' is unnecessary, singular/plural mismatches ('picture' -> 'pictures', 'view' -> 'views'), run-on sentence without proper punctuation or conjunctions, and noun phrase 'in different way' needs plural 'ways' or a determiner. To improve: remove the extraneous 'are', use plural nouns to match general meaning, and connect clauses with a semicolon or conjunction. Also contract placement: 'it's' should refer to 'it is fun' after the clause or use 'because it is fun' as shown.

× I prefer views in urban area because.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas.

The phrase 'in urban area' needs plural 'areas' or the definite/indefinite article ('an urban area'). The trailing 'because.' is an incomplete clause; remove it or complete it with a reason. To improve: use 'urban areas' when speaking generally, or 'an urban area' for a specific one, and avoid leaving 'because' without a clause.

× There are unique atmosphere, especially at night, so I like the view over Bernadia.

✓ There is a unique atmosphere, especially at night, so I like the view over Bernadia.

'There are' is plural but 'atmosphere' is singular, so use 'There is'. Also add the indefinite article 'a' before 'unique atmosphere'. 'The view' is acceptable if referring to a specific view; keep that. To improve: ensure subject number matches the verb and include necessary articles ('a' or 'the').

× I prefer view in other countries I can experience other cultures or.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I can experience other cultures.

'View' should be plural ('views') when speaking generally. The sentence is a run-on and ends abruptly with 'or.' Use 'because' to connect the reason. To improve: use plural nouns for general statements and complete clauses after conjunctions like 'because'.

× Their own mood in other countries.

✓ I can also experience the local mood in other countries.

The fragment 'Their own mood in other countries.' lacks a subject and verb and uses the pronoun 'their' without a clear antecedent. Replace with a complete clause 'I can also experience the local mood...' to clarify meaning. To improve: avoid sentence fragments and choose clear pronouns or repeat the subject.

× That point is the most I like.

✓ That is the thing I like most.

The original word order 'the most I like' is unnatural in English. Use 'the thing I like most' or 'what I like most' to convey the intended meaning. To improve: place the superlative phrase after the object ('I like most') or use 'what' + verb structure.