Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is enthusiastic and relevant, but contains an incorrect or confusing word choice (“Mormons” instead of likely “moments” or “morning scenes”), and is a bit wordy. To improve, correct the vocabulary, keep the response concise (max 3–4 sentences), start with a clear topic sentence, and add one specific detail about what you like to photograph and why.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. When I travel I usually photograph landscapes and coastal scenes because I enjoy preserving special moments and sharing them with my friends and family.

提案: Your answer addresses the question and gives a reason, but has grammar issues (article use, tense) and redundancy. Improve by stating a clear preference, using correct articles and verb forms, and adding one specific example of what you like about rural views. Use a linking word for coherence.

例: I prefer rural views because, although I live in an urban area and am used to cityscapes, I enjoy the tranquility and natural scenery of small towns. For example, I like photographing fields and traditional houses when I visit the countryside.

提案: The answer is clear and contains reasons, but has a weak discourse marker (“Then”) and a slightly repetitive ending. Improve by using a stronger opening phrase, avoiding repetition, and giving one specific example of a scene you enjoy photographing in your country. Keep it concise and within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because India has incredibly diverse landscapes and stunning coasts. For instance, I love photographing the backwaters of Kerala and the sunrise over the beaches, so I usually focus on capturing local scenes before travelling abroad.

× I just love photographing different landscapes while I travel because I really enjoy capturing Mormons and sharing it with my friends and family.

✓ I just love photographing different landscapes while I travel because I really enjoy capturing moments and sharing them with my friends and family.

The student wrote 'Mormons' which is a noun referring to members of a religious group; this is likely a typo for 'moments'. This is a word choice error rather than a grammatical number issue. Also, 'sharing it with my friends and family' uses 'it' to refer to plural 'moments'; change to 'sharing them' to match plural reference. Suggestion: replace 'Mormons' with 'moments' and use the plural pronoun 'them' to agree with 'moments'.

× Well, I am living in a urban area so I'm quite used to seeing these buildings and city lives.

✓ Well, I am living in an urban area so I'm quite used to seeing these buildings and city life.

Use the indefinite article 'an' before a vowel sound; 'urban' begins with a vowel sound so 'an urban area' is correct. Also 'city lives' is awkward; the uncountable noun 'city life' is the usual collocation. Suggestion: use 'an' before 'urban' and replace 'city lives' with 'city life'.

× Therefore I am quite fond of areas in the rural town which is quite new to me and I would love to explore more about it.

✓ Therefore, I am quite fond of rural towns, which are quite new to me, and I would love to explore them more.

The original mixes singular/plural and has unclear reference 'it' for 'areas'. 'Areas in the rural town' is awkward; 'rural towns' fits the meaning. Use commas to set off the relative clause and ensure subject-verb agreement ('towns... are'). Replace 'explore more about it' with 'explore them more' to refer to 'rural towns' clearly. Suggestion: make number consistent and use clear pronoun references and commas for clauses."

× Then I prefer views in my own country as India is considered as God's own country, it has beautiful landscapes and coastal views.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because India is considered God's own country; it has beautiful landscapes and coastal views.

Use 'because' rather than 'as' or 'then' for giving a reason in this context; 'considered as' is nonstandard—'considered' or 'considered to be' is correct. Also the sentence is a comma splice; replace the comma with a semicolon or split into two sentences. Suggestion: use 'because' or 'considered' without 'as' and fix the run-on sentence structure.

× So instead of going out to explore different other countries, I would first love to capture beautiful landscapes and moments from my own land.

✓ So, instead of going abroad to explore other countries, I would first love to capture beautiful landscapes and moments from my own country.

'Different other countries' is redundant; use 'other countries' or 'different countries'. 'Going out to explore' is less natural than 'going abroad to explore'. 'My own land' is acceptable but 'my own country' is more natural in this context. Suggestion: remove redundancy and use more natural collocations like 'going abroad' and 'my own country'.