Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: use plural forms and clearer phrasing. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "different" and "scenarios").

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing landscapes such as mountains, lakes and flowers because it helps me relax. For example, when I take photos on a lake shore, I switch off my phone and focus on composition and light, which makes the experience peaceful.

提案: Improve vocabulary and verb usage, and make sentences more natural and error-free. Use one clear reason, linked with a connector, and provide a specific example. Replace awkward phrases like "put off my phone" and "press the fresh air."

例: I prefer rural views because they are peaceful and natural. For instance, when I visit the countryside, I switch off my phone and breathe the fresh air while listening to birdsong, which helps me unwind.

提案: Be precise and avoid vague phrases like "both of all." Use correct articles and pluralization. Give a brief comparison and a specific reason for interest in other countries, linked with a connector.

例: I like views both in my country and abroad. In China we have diverse landscapes like mountains, lakes and rivers, which are spectacular; however, I would also like to visit northern Europe to see the Aurora Borealis because it is a rare and dramatic natural phenomenon.

× Actually, I really enjoy taking the picture of different scenarios like the mountains, the lakes or just some random flowers.

✓ Actually, I really enjoy taking pictures of different scenes like mountains, lakes, or just some random flowers.

The verb + -ing structure 'taking' is correct but the noun following it should be plural when speaking generally: 'pictures' not 'the picture'. Also 'scenarios' is awkward; 'scenes' is more natural. Remove the definite article 'the' before 'mountains' and 'lakes' when speaking generally. Use commas before 'or' in a list for clarity.

× It lets me feel relaxed and I can put off my phone that time and just enjoy the beautiful scenery.

✓ It makes me feel relaxed and I can put my phone away then and just enjoy the beautiful scenery.

'Lets me feel relaxed' is not natural; use 'makes me feel relaxed'. 'Put off my phone' is incorrect collocation; correct phrase is 'put my phone away'. 'That time' is awkward; use 'then' to refer to that moment. 'Makes' is present tense matching habitual action.

× From my perspective, I really enjoy rural areas.

✓ From my perspective, I prefer rural areas.

The original 'really enjoy rural areas' is not wrong grammatically but 'prefer' better matches the question asking preference. No -ing error here, but to follow list, this suggestion focuses on verb choice to improve appropriateness and clarity.

× At that time, I can put off my phone and just press the fresh air, watch some random flowers or listen to the sounds of birds.

✓ At those times, I can put my phone away and just breathe the fresh air, look at some random flowers, or listen to the sounds of birds.

'Put off my phone' is incorrect; use 'put my phone away'. 'Press the fresh air' is wrong collocation; use 'breathe the fresh air'. 'Watch some random flowers' is awkward; use 'look at' or 'admire'. Change 'at that time' to 'at those times' for habitual actions.

× It's really a sense of relief.

✓ It really gives me a sense of relief.

'It's really a sense of relief' is grammatically awkward; making the subject explicit with 'It gives me' clarifies who experiences the relief. This fixes pronoun/subject usage and improves naturalness.

× Actually, both of all.

✓ Actually, both.

'Both of all' is ungrammatical. When referring to two options, simply use 'both'. Removing 'of all' corrects the quantifier usage.

× But I really want to go to the northern Europe to see the spectacular Aurora.

✓ But I really want to go to northern Europe to see the spectacular aurora.

Do not use the definite article 'the' before 'northern Europe' in this context. 'Aurora' here should be lowercase 'aurora' unless referring to a specific named event; 'the aurora' is also possible, but lowercase is normal. 'Northern Europe' does not take 'the' when speaking of the region generally.

× In China there are a lot of different landforms, such as the mountains, the lakes, the rivers and so on.

✓ In China there are many different landforms, such as mountains, lakes, rivers, and so on.

Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for more formal speech. When listing general landforms, omit 'the' before plural nouns. Use commas consistently and include 'and' before the final item.