Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and an example. Reduce hesitations and avoid redundancy. Use correct verb forms and singular/plural forms. For example, say you like preserving memories and describe one situation when photography helped you remember an event.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it helps me preserve memories. For instance, I photographed my graduation ceremony so I can remember how the venue looked and how I felt that day.

提案: Give a clear preference statement, use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement), and add one or two specific details linked coherently with linking words. Avoid repetitive fillers. Mention why rural scenes appeal to you and include a brief comparison with urban views.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they have peaceful, natural landscapes. For example, green paddy fields and riverbanks are calming, whereas urban scenes are often crowded and noisy.

提案: State your preference clearly and give one strong reason with a specific example. Avoid repeating words and reduce hesitations. Use possessive and plural forms correctly (e.g., "my country" not "my countries"). Explain what makes your country's views valuable and how photography helps share them internationally.

例: I prefer photographing views in my own country because its landscapes are unique and meaningful to me. For example, I often capture traditional festivals and coastal villages to share with friends abroad so they can appreciate our culture.

× I like to capturing picture in a different views because, umm, I like to keep in place big.

✓ I like to capture pictures of different views because I like to keep my memories in one place.

The verb 'like' with 'to' requires the base form 'capture', not 'capturing' (error type: verb + -ing form). Also 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match 'different views' (singular/plural agreement) and 'in a different views' is incorrect preposition and article use; correct form is 'of different views' and 'keep my memories in one place' clarifies meaning.

× I like to place big my memories and, uh, events which happened, uh, previously from my capturing peak.

✓ I like to keep my important memories and events that happened previously from my photography.

Word order 'place big my memories' is incorrect; 'big' is not the right adjective for memories—use 'important' or 'big' placed before noun. 'From my capturing peak' is unclear; 'from my photography' is clearer. This corrects adjective placement and choice.

× I suggest views in rural areas because uh rural areas has some beautiful scenarios like uh green Paddy field and uh river, river, river, Bank of the river UH and also uh I prefer.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because rural areas have some beautiful scenery like green paddy fields and riverbanks.

Prepositions and noun forms were incorrect: 'Paddy field' needs plural 'paddy fields' and 'Bank of the river' should be 'riverbanks'. Also 'suggest views' is unnatural; 'prefer views' matches question. Additionally 'rural areas has' has subject-verb agreement error corrected here.

× I suggest views in rural areas because uh rural areas has some beautiful scenarios like uh green Paddy field and uh river, river, river, Bank of the river UH and also uh I prefer.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because rural areas have some beautiful scenery like green paddy fields and riverbanks.

The subject 'rural areas' is plural, so the verb should be 'have' not 'has'. This is a subject-verb agreement error; correcting the verb to 'have' matches the plural subject.

× I prefer using my own country because my country is very beautiful and also my uh, I want to umm, show my countries to other, my country to other countries through my photography, uh, and uh, it is uh, more valuable, uh, because, uh, my country, uh, have some.

✓ I prefer my own country because it is very beautiful and I want to show my country to other people through my photography; it is more valuable to me because my country has many special places.

Pronoun misuse and repetition: 'my country' should be referred to with 'it' after initially mentioned. 'Show my countries to other' is incorrect; use 'show my country to other people'. Also 'have some' is incomplete; specify 'has many special places'. This addresses incorrect pronoun use and completes the sentence.