Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and expresses enthusiasm, but it is repetitive and a bit long. Aim for a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Reduce redundancy (e.g., "natural sceneries" and "natural sights" convey the same idea). Use a linking phrase to connect your reason and an example.

例: Yes, I love photographing different views because I’m passionate about nature. For example, when I visit a forest or coastline, I focus on light and composition to capture the mood, which helps me feel more connected to the environment.

提案: The answer communicates preference but is vague and contains hesitations and repetition. Give a concise topic sentence, then explain with specific reasons (e.g., quietness, natural light, unique subjects). Avoid filler words and unclear terms like "ineffable."

例: I prefer photographing rural areas because they’re quieter and offer unique natural subjects. For example, rural mornings often have soft light and mist over fields, which creates peaceful, photogenic scenes that I rarely find in cities.

提案: Your response is honest but somewhat rambling and repetitive. Start with a direct answer (e.g., you don’t compare), then give a brief specific reason and an example. Remove repeated phrases and tighten language.

例: I can’t really compare because I’ve only visited Taiwan besides the Philippines; both countries have distinct natural beauty. For instance, Taiwan’s mountainous landscapes contrast with the Philippines’ tropical beaches, so I appreciate different qualities in each.

× I really enjoy taking pictures of different views because I'm a person who really likes nature and just watching natural sceneries and natural sights on different places and I feel like it really connects to me and really makes me appreciate what our earth is like and what Mother Nature is like.

✓ I really enjoy taking pictures of different views because I'm a person who really likes nature and watching natural scenery in different places, and I feel like it really connects with me and makes me appreciate what our Earth and Mother Nature are like.

The sentence uses plural forms and pronouns awkwardly. 'Natural sceneries' and 'natural sights on different places' are incorrect: 'scenery' is an uncountable noun, so use 'natural scenery' and say 'in different places.' 'Connects to me' is less natural than 'connects with me.' Also 'what our earth is like and what Mother Nature is like' is repetitive; combine to 'what our Earth and Mother Nature are like.' Capitalize 'Earth' as a proper noun. Suggestions: use uncountable nouns correctly, prefer 'connects with' for emotional connection, and simplify repetitive phrases.

× I definitely prefer to take pictures of rural areas because I feel like people don't usually go there on normal days and I feel like just being in that moment in that specific setting just gives me, just gets me in a very light mood in a very umm, I've it's ineffable.

✓ I definitely prefer to take pictures of rural areas because I feel like people don't usually go there on ordinary days, and just being in that moment in that specific setting puts me in a light mood; it's ineffable.

Tense is not the main issue, but the sentence contains awkward verb phrases and contractions that confuse tense and structure. 'On normal days' is better as 'on ordinary days.' 'Just gives me, just gets me in a very light mood' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'puts me in a light mood.' 'I've it's ineffable' mixes 'I have' and 'it is' incorrectly; use 'it's ineffable.' Suggestions: remove redundancy, choose a single verb phrase ('puts me'), and avoid mixing contractions that break sentence structure.

× Well I've only ever been to 1 country which is Taiwan and I don't think it's fair to compare Taiwan and the Philippines because I feel like they on their own have their own natural beauty and they're just unique in their own way, which I I like both of them very much.

✓ Well, I've only ever been to one country, Taiwan, and I don't think it's fair to compare Taiwan and the Philippines because each has its own natural beauty and is unique in its own way; I like both very much.

Problems include tense-related contractions and awkward pronoun use. 'I've only ever been' is present perfect and fine, but 'which is Taiwan' is wordy—use apposition: 'one country, Taiwan.' 'They on their own have their own natural beauty' is redundant and unclear; 'each has its own natural beauty' is correct. 'They're just unique in their own way, which I I like both of them very much' is ungrammatical and repetitive; rewrite as 'is unique in its own way; I like both very much.' Suggestions: simplify apposition, use 'each' for two items, remove redundant phrases, and fix repeated words and pronoun references.