Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct verb forms and vocabulary, and give one or two specific supporting details. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I often take my phone out to capture scenes that surprise me, such as colorful sunsets or interesting street corners. Because I don’t travel very often, I try to photograph any unusual or beautiful sight I encounter so I can remember it later.

提案: Make the comparison direct, use correct grammar (e.g., 'rural areas usually have'), choose precise vocabulary (woodlands, villages, quiet), and give specific reasons linked with linking words.

例: I prefer rural views rather than urban ones because rural areas usually have more natural scenery. For example, there are woodlands, small villages and open fields, and the skies often look clearer. In addition, it is much quieter in the countryside, which makes the scenery feel more peaceful.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, correct singular/plural and article use (e.g., 'a lot of mountains', 'natural woodlands'), and add a specific example or reason to support your preference. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has many mountains and beautiful rivers. For instance, in the north there are scenic mountain ranges with clear streams and extensive woodlands, which feel very natural and untouched. Therefore I usually choose domestic landscapes when I want to enjoy nature.

× I would like take pictures in different view because this is a very great.

✓ I would like to take pictures of different views because they are very beautiful.

Missing 'to' after 'would like' and incorrect noun forms. 'Would like' requires the infinitive 'to take'. Use plural 'views' to match 'different'. Avoid vague 'very great'; use 'very beautiful' or similar. Suggestion: Use 'would like to' + base verb and ensure nouns match plurality and adjective choice fits context.

× I usually will take my phone out and take a picture and say, wow, it's amazing.

✓ I usually take my phone out and take a picture and say, 'Wow, it's amazing.'

Redundant future marker 'will' with habitual action; use simple present for habits. Also punctuation is conversational but keep structure. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual actions: 'I usually take...'.

× And uh, because I don't troll travel frequently, so I always will take a feature and, uh, very beautiful views.

✓ Because I don't travel frequently, I always take photos of very beautiful views.

Incorrect word 'troll' and awkward structure with 'so' and future 'will'. Use simple present for habitual action: 'don't travel' and 'always take'. 'Take a feature' is incorrect; use 'take photos' or 'take pictures'. Suggestion: Use correct verbs and simple present for routines.

× I'd prefer the views in rural areas because rural areas are usually have a more beautiful view than urban area.

✓ I'd prefer the views in rural areas because rural areas usually have more beautiful scenery than urban areas.

Auxiliary 'are' is unnecessary before 'have'. Use plural 'areas' for parallelism and 'scenery' is more natural than 'view' in this context. Suggestion: Remove extra 'are' and ensure count agreement.

× There's a lot of Woodlands and the a lot of village in there.

✓ There are a lot of woodlands and villages there.

Use plural nouns 'woodlands' and 'villages'. 'There's' contracts 'there is' which should be 'there are' for plural. Remove extraneous 'the a' and place 'there' at end or after 'are'. Suggestion: Use 'There are' with plural noun phrases.

× It's very great.

✓ It's great.

'Very great' is awkward and usually unnecessary; 'great' suffices. If emphasis is needed, use 'really great' or 'very beautiful'. Suggestion: Choose natural modifiers like 'really' or use a more precise adjective.

× The live story sky and the there's no voice in there.

✓ The sky is clear and there is no noise there.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Live story sky' unclear—likely meant 'clear sky'. 'Voice' should be 'noise'. Use 'there is' for existence and correct noun selection. Suggestion: Use simple, clear nouns and standard 'there is/are' structures.

× I like my own views of my country because there's a lot of mountain in my country and the beautiful river and the very natural Woodlands in some area.

✓ I like the views of my country because there are a lot of mountains, beautiful rivers, and natural woodlands in some areas.

Pluralize countable nouns: 'mountains', 'rivers', 'areas'. Use 'there are' for multiple items. Remove unnecessary articles like 'the' before general lists and capitalize consistently. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for general descriptions and 'there are' for listing.

× I think it's very beautiful, so I like my country's view more.

✓ I think it's very beautiful, so I prefer the views of my country.

'Like my country's view more' is awkward; 'prefer' fits comparative context. Maintain plural 'views' to match prior sentence. Suggestion: Use 'prefer' for expressing preference and keep noun forms consistent.