Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and sentence structure, be more concise and natural, and add one specific example with a linking phrase. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two supporting details and a brief example.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me remember experiences and stay present. For example, when I travel to Hoi An, I take photos of the riverside old houses to remember the light and atmosphere.

提案: Finish your sentences and organize ideas with linking words. Begin with a clear preference, then give 2–3 specific reasons using connectors (because, so, therefore). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and correct awkward phrasing.

例: I prefer rural areas. Since I work and study in a busy city, I find rural places much quieter and cleaner. For example, I like walking in the countryside because the fresh air and green fields help me relax after a stressful week.

提案: Avoid filler words and correct factual and grammatical errors. State your preference clearly, give specific reasons and one short example or comparison. Use correct country adjective (Vietnamese) and finish your thought.

例: I prefer views in my own country. Vietnam has diverse scenery—from tropical beaches to mountains—so I enjoy photographing its sunlight and landscapes. For example, I love taking sunrise photos on Phu Quoc beach because the colors are unforgettable.

× Absolutely, I truly into capture the moments.

✓ Absolutely, I'm truly into capturing moments.

The sentence is missing a verb form after 'into'. After 'be into' you must use the gerund (-ing) form. Also add the verb 'am' for the present continuous state 'I'm into'. Use 'capturing' and plural 'moments' for natural English.

× This helped me to live in the present and have look backs later.

✓ This helps me live in the present and have look-backs later.

The context refers to a general, current effect, so present simple 'helps' is appropriate rather than past 'helped'. Remove 'to' after 'helps me' when followed by a verb without 'to', and use the noun form 'look-backs' or 'lookbacks' with a hyphen for clarity. Alternatively use 'look back' as a verb phrase: 'and to look back later'.

× For example when I travel to a new place I would love to.

✓ For example, when I travel to a new place, I would love to take pictures.

The sentence is incomplete and omits the object of 'love to'. Add a clear verb phrase 'take pictures' to complete the thought. Also add commas after the introductory clause for correct punctuation and clarity.

× I truly prefer rural areas actually I work and study in the urban.

✓ I truly prefer rural areas; actually, I work and study in the urban areas.

'in the urban' is incorrect; use 'in urban areas' or 'in the urban area'. Also the original runs two independent clauses without proper punctuation; use a semicolon or separate sentences and add a comma after 'actually'.

× I'm tired of the noise, traffic, heat and closed space.

✓ I'm tired of the noise, traffic, heat, and confined spaces.

'closed space' is awkward; 'confined spaces' or 'close spaces' is more natural and plural to match the list. Add a comma before 'and' for consistency in a list (Oxford comma optional).

× So going back to the.

✓ So I go back to the countryside.

This fragment lacks a subject and a full verb phrase. Complete the sentence with subject and verb, and specify 'countryside' or 'rural areas' as the destination to make the meaning clear.

× I'm really into views of my own country.

✓ I'm really into the views of my own country.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'views' to refer to specific views within the speaker's country. The present tense 'I'm really into' is correct.

× Uh, as you know, Vietnamese is one of the best well known tropical country which the count the sunshine and scenery views.

✓ Uh, as you know, Vietnam is one of the best-known tropical countries, with abundant sunshine and scenic views.

Use the country name 'Vietnam' instead of the adjective 'Vietnamese'. 'Best-known' should be hyphenated when used as a compound adjective. 'Country' must be plural 'countries' to match 'one of the'. Replace the awkward clause 'which the count the sunshine and scenery views' with 'with abundant sunshine and scenic views' for grammatical and idiomatic correctness.

× Actually, I haven't been a.

✓ Actually, I haven't been abroad yet.

The fragment 'I haven't been a.' is incomplete. Likely intended 'I haven't been abroad' or 'I haven't been to many places'. Provide the full phrase 'abroad yet' to complete the thought and fit the travel context.