Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 응답은 명확하고 자연스럽지만 몇 가지 개선할 점이 있습니다. 첫째, 문장이 다소 중복되고 어색한 표현(예: "remember the memories")이 있습니다. 둘째, 예시 앞의 마침표와 같은 발화 실수를 줄이고 문장을 하나로 매끄럽게 연결해야 합니다. 셋째, 추가 세부사항(어떤 장면을 선호하는지, 어떤 장비를 쓰는지 등)을 덧붙이면 답변이 더 구체적이고 설득력 있어집니다. 연습 팁: 주제문을 제시한 뒤 접속사(for example, for instance, because 등)를 사용해 이유와 구체적 사례를 부드럽게 연결하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photographs because they help me preserve special moments of buildings, people, and nature. For example, when I travel I usually take landscape and street photos with my smartphone so I can look back at those memories and remember the atmosphere of each place.

提案: 응답은 의견과 이유를 제시했으나 문장 연결이 매끄럽지 않습니다(예: "because I love nature and."에서 문장 끊김). 또한 'picturesque' 같은 좋은 어휘를 사용했으나 더 구체적인 설명(어떤 풍경 요소를 좋아하는지, 시간대나 계절 등)을 추가하면 좋습니다. 연습 팁: 이유를 말할 때 문장이 완결되도록 주의하고, linking words(so, therefore, which 등)를 사용해 결과나 감정을 자연스럽게 연결하세요.

例: I prefer rural views because I love being surrounded by nature, which feels calmer than busy cities. For example, I often go to coastal areas at sunset to photograph the sea and cliffs, and those peaceful scenes help me relax and clear my mind.

提案: 응답은 비교 구조를 잘 사용했고 구체적인 나라까지 언급해 좋았습니다. 다만 'architectures'는 보통 복수형으로 쓰지 않고 'architecture'가 자연스럽고, 비교를 확장해 이유를 더 구체적으로(예: 건축 양식, 색감, 거리의 분위기) 설명하면 더욱 설득력 있습니다. 또한 한두 문장 내에서 linking words(while, whereas 등)를 활용해 비교를 명확히 하세요.

例: I prefer views in other countries, especially England and Italy, because their architecture and charming villages feel more historic and varied than modern cityscapes. For example, in Italy I love photographing narrow streets and colorful facades, whereas my country often has newer high-rise buildings with a more contemporary look.

× I enjoy taking pictures because photographs help me remember the memories like buildings, people or nature.

✓ I enjoy taking pictures because photographs help me remember memories such as buildings, people, or nature.

The phrase 'remember the memories' is redundant; use 'remember memories' or better 'remember' plus examples. Also 'like' is informal; 'such as' is more appropriate for listing examples. Use commas before 'or' in a list for clarity.

× For example.

✓ For example, I usually take photos when I travel so I can look back on the memories.

A single fragment 'For example.' is a sentence fragment without a main clause. It should be attached to the following sentence or expanded to include the example. Combining it with the next sentence fixes the incomplete sentence structure.

× I prefer views in rural areas because I love nature and.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I love nature.

The conjunction 'and' at the end creates an incomplete coordinate structure. Remove the trailing 'and' or complete the coordination with another parallel element. Here removing 'and' yields a complete sentence.

× I prefer the views in other countries, especially places like England and Italy, because their beautiful architectures and charming villages are very picturesque.

✓ I prefer the views in other countries, especially places like England and Italy, because their beautiful architecture and charming villages are very picturesque.

The noun 'architecture' is an uncountable noun when referring to style or overall building design, so the plural 'architectures' is incorrect. Use 'architecture' (singular/uncountable). The rest of the sentence is fine.

× By contrast, the scenery in my country is more contemporary with high rise buildings.

✓ By contrast, the scenery in my country is more contemporary with high-rise buildings.

The compound adjective 'high-rise' should be hyphenated when modifying a noun. No article is required before 'high-rise buildings' here. Hyphenation clarifies that 'high-rise' is a single descriptive unit.