Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence saying whether you like taking pictures of views, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid fillers (uh) and vague phrases like "a few more than people" and unclear expressions such as "inside our mind." Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because/so).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of views. I prefer landscapes to portraits because natural scenes help me capture unique moods and memories, and they often change with the light, so I can experiment with composition and color.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer grammar and linking words. Begin with a clear preference, then give two specific reasons (feeling relaxed; contrast with home environment). Avoid awkward phrasing ("I am come from"); use correct tense and articles. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views. For one thing, nature makes me feel more relaxed, and for another, growing up in Hong Kong means urban scenes feel familiar and less interesting, so I enjoy photographing tranquil countryside landscapes.

提案: State your preference clearly and give specific supporting details. Remove hesitations and repeat words. Mention concrete examples of differences (flora, architecture, cultural scenes) and use linking words (for example, also, furthermore).

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different landscapes and cultural scenes. For example, rural England has rolling green fields and historic villages, while Southeast Asia has distinct plant species and vibrant market streets, which gives me new visual inspiration.

× As a photographer, I would like to say I enjoy taking photos with a few more than people because I think that, uh, the view is a special moment that inside our mind, which means that it is the own experience for you.

✓ As a photographer, I would say I enjoy taking photos of views more than of people because I think a view is a special moment in our minds, which means it is a personal experience for you.

Pronoun and noun phrase misuse: 'with a few more than people' is incorrect; use 'of views more than of people' to compare objects. 'The view is a special moment that inside our mind' mixes articles and clause structure; use 'a view is a special moment in our minds'. 'the own experience for you' is unnatural; use 'a personal experience for you'. Also simplify redundant phrases and maintain consistent pronouns and articles. Suggested improvement: focus on clear subjects and objects (photos of views), use 'more than' for comparisons, use 'in our minds' for internal experiences, and use 'personal' instead of 'own' in this construction.

× I would more prefer rural areas because that nature makes me feel more relaxed and maybe because I am come from Hong Kong which is a very urban City side.

✓ I prefer rural areas because nature makes me feel more relaxed, and maybe because I come from Hong Kong, which is a very urban city.

Incorrect modal/phrase 'would more prefer'—use simple 'prefer' or 'would prefer'; here simple present 'prefer' fits. 'I am come from' is incorrect verb form; use 'I come from' or 'I am from'. 'that nature' is wrong article/pronoun; use 'nature' without 'that'. 'City side' is unnatural; 'city' or 'urban city' suffices. Suggested improvement: use 'prefer' for general preference, use 'come from' or 'am from' for origin, and avoid unnecessary demonstratives before uncountable nouns like 'nature'.

× I have things that it just not special for me.

✓ There are things there that are just not special to me.

Missing subject-verb structure and wrong pronoun usage: original sentence lacks proper verb agreement and uses 'it' incorrectly. Use 'There are things' to introduce existence and 'not special to me' for correct prepositional phrase. Suggested improvement: ensure a clear subject and verb and use 'to me' to indicate personal opinion.

× I prefer views in other countries because uh, I think each place ha each place has their own specific views, like maybe about the countryside they got different uh plan species and also about their own culture.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I think each place has its own specific views; for example, the countryside may have different plant species and distinct cultures.

Multiple structure issues: duplicated phrase 'each place ha each place has' is a repetition and has a misspelled verb 'ha'. Use 'each place has its own' for correct possessive and agreement. 'their own' is plural; for 'each place' singular, use 'its own'. 'they got different plan species' is colloquial and contains errors: use 'may have different plant species'. Also use 'distinct cultures' instead of 'about their own culture'. Suggested improvement: avoid repetition, ensure subject-verb agreement with 'each' (singular), use correct nouns like 'plant', and use clearer connectors like 'for example'.