Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct word choice and grammar (e.g., “mountains” not “mountains hungry”), and avoid redundancy. Add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because natural landscapes are calming and picturesque. For example, when I visit the hills I often photograph the sunrise to capture the changing light and vivid colors.

提案: Answer the question directly (choose urban or rural) and give a clear reason with correct grammar and precise vocabulary. Use a linking word to add a specific example or contrast. Avoid filler words like “yeah.” Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in urban areas because I enjoy the mix of architecture and city lights. For example, on misty evenings the reflections on wet streets create a dramatic atmosphere.

提案: Respond directly to the choice and give a clear, specific reason. Correct grammar (e.g., “I prefer living in my own country”) and remove unclear phrases like “I try to live in the year.” Add one concrete detail or example and use a linking word for coherence.

例: I prefer views in my own country because the landscapes are calm and familiar, which makes me feel relaxed. For instance, the quiet coastal towns and friendly communities make it pleasant to walk around and take photos.

× I enjoy photographing different views because landscapes and mountains hungry are a beautiful and calming.

✓ I enjoy photographing different views because landscapes and mountains are beautiful and calming.

The word 'hungry' is an incorrect adjective here and disrupts meaning. Remove 'hungry' to correct the adjective usage and make the sentence clear: 'landscapes and mountains are beautiful and calming.' Ensure adjectives directly describe nouns and avoid unrelated adjectives.

× I enjoy photographing different views because landscapes and mountains hungry are a beautiful and calming.

✓ I enjoy photographing different views because landscapes and mountains are beautiful and calming.

The original word order 'mountains hungry are a beautiful and calming' is ungrammatical. Reorder to subject + verb + complement: 'mountains are beautiful and calming.' This fixes sentence structure and clarity.

× For example, when I visit the hills, I often take photos to remember the light and colors.

✓ For example, when I visit the hills, I often take photos to remember the light and the colors.

Adding the definite article 'the' before 'colors' is more natural because the speaker refers to specific light and colors they observed. Use articles to indicate specificity when appropriate.

× Yes, I do. I prefer views in my urban areas because urban areas very beautiful, especially under spraying weather for me.

✓ Yes, I do. I prefer views in urban areas because urban areas are very beautiful, especially in rainy weather to me.

'My urban areas' is incorrect when speaking generally about urban environments; use 'urban areas.' The verb 'are' is missing (subject-verb agreement). 'Spraying weather' is not a standard phrase; likely 'rainy weather' is intended. 'For me' is better as 'to me' in this context. Combine these corrections for grammatical and idiomatic accuracy.

× Yes, I do. I prefer views in my urban areas because urban areas very beautiful, especially under spraying weather for me.

✓ Yes, I do. I prefer views in urban areas because urban areas are very beautiful, especially in rainy weather to me.

The phrase 'urban areas very beautiful' is missing the third-person plural form of 'be' (are). Insert 'are' for correct subject-verb agreement: 'urban areas are very beautiful.'

× Do you prefer views in your own country or in other countries? Student: Oh yeah, I do. I prefer live in my own country because my own country is very calm and peaceful for the residents.

✓ Oh yes. I prefer to live in my own country because my country is very calm and peaceful for residents.

'I prefer live' is missing the infinitive marker 'to' (see verb form issues), and 'my own country' repeated is redundant; 'my country' suffices. Also 'the residents' is unnecessarily specific; 'residents' or 'its residents' is clearer. Use 'Oh yes' instead of 'Oh yeah' for more formal spoken register.

× Oh yeah, I do. I prefer live in my own country because my own country is very calm and peaceful for the residents. So I try to live in the year.

✓ Oh yes. I prefer to live in my own country because my country is very calm and peaceful for residents. So I try to live there year-round.

'I prefer live' requires the infinitive 'to live' after 'prefer.' 'I try to live in the year' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely intended 'live there year-round.' Use '-ing' forms and infinitives correctly and choose appropriate adverbial phrases for time.

× So I try to live in the year.

✓ So I try to live there year-round.

The original phrase 'in the year' is not idiomatic. Rephrase to 'there year-round' to express the intended meaning of living in the country throughout the year. Ensure prepositional phrases match intended meaning.