Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail using a linking word. Also replace informal fillers like 'etcetera' with a concrete example.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing landscapes and natural scenes because they calm me; for example, I often take sunrise photos at the local lake to remember trips.

提案: Clarify your preference and give a specific reason. Remove unclear or incorrect phrases (e.g. 'airline scabs') and use linking words to connect your reason. Keep it to one topic sentence plus one supporting detail.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the blend of architecture and small green spaces; for instance, I like photographing rooftop gardens and historic buildings in the city.

提案: Give a direct comparison with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details, using linking words (e.g. 'however', 'for example'). Avoid vague lists and grammar mistakes (agreement and word forms).

例: I appreciate both, but if I had to choose I would say my country because of its diverse landscapes such as mountains and coastal areas; however, I also enjoy visiting other countries for their seasonal festivals and unique architecture.

× Yeah, I like to take different pictures of different views 'cause I love nature, sceneries and landscapes etcetera.

✓ Yeah, I like to take different pictures of various views because I love nature, scenery, and landscapes.

The original uses 'different' twice which is repetitive; 'various' is more natural before 'views'. 'Sceneries' is incorrect: 'scenery' is an uncountable noun. Also avoid informal ' 'cause' in formal responses; use 'because'. Use commas to separate items in a list.

× And I love to record everything in my gallery for memories.

✓ And I love to record everything in my gallery for memories.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but could be improved stylistically by saying 'for memory' or 'as memories'. However, it does not violate the listed grammar types, so no grammatical correction is required. Consider: '...for memories' is understandable but 'to keep as memories' is clearer.

× Yeah, I personally like the views of urban areas because there is a lot of natural things like airline scabs and sceneries of nature presence instead of rural areas.

✓ Yeah, I personally like the views in urban areas because there are many natural features such as tree-lined streets and pockets of greenery, rather than in rural areas.

Plural agreement: 'there is a lot of natural things' should be 'there are many natural things/features'. 'Airline scabs' is unclear and likely incorrect; I replaced it with a plausible phrase 'tree-lined streets' and 'pockets of greenery'. 'Sceneries of nature presence' is ungrammatical; use 'natural scenery' or 'natural features'. Also use 'in urban areas' not 'of urban areas'.

× Well, I can see both yours, my country have a very beautiful views like mountains, desert areas and ponds and oceans etcetera.

✓ Well, I can see both. My country has very beautiful views, like mountains, deserts, ponds, and oceans.

Subject-verb agreement: 'my country have' should be 'my country has' because 'country' is singular. 'A very beautiful views' mixes singular article with plural noun; remove 'a' and use 'very beautiful views'. Use plural nouns properly ('deserts' instead of 'desert areas' is acceptable) and commas to separate list items.

× But other countries have also very beautiful seasonal things in it.

✓ But other countries also have very beautiful seasonal attractions.

Word order: 'have also very beautiful' is awkward; place 'also' before the verb or after the subject: 'other countries also have'. 'Seasonal things' is informal and vague; 'seasonal attractions' or 'seasonal features' is clearer. Use 'them' or omit 'in it' because 'countries' is plural; 'in them' would be needed if keeping a pronoun.

× And I love to watch seasonal things but I also love to watch my countries architectural things.

✓ And I love to see seasonal events, but I also love to see my country's architecture.

Pronoun/possessive error: 'my countries architectural things' should be 'my country's architecture' with the possessive apostrophe to show ownership. 'Watch' is less appropriate for architecture; 'see' or 'appreciate' is better. 'Architectural things' is vague; 'architecture' is the correct noun.