Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition and filler words (e.g., "uh"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or an example using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Also watch grammar: use correct verb forms and articles ("I love", not "I love to capture" repeatedly).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because it helps me preserve memories. For example, I often use my smartphone to photograph sunsets and cityscapes when I travel, since it is convenient and the images help me remember the moment.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid vague comparisons. Use precise vocabulary and correct grammar (e.g., "less pollution", "more greenery", "calmer"). Use one linking word to connect reason and a brief example or consequence.

例: I prefer rural views because there is less pollution and more greenery, so the atmosphere feels calmer and more refreshing. For instance, I enjoy walking by fields and rivers where the air is cleaner and I can relax.

提案: Organize the answer: start with a direct statement ("I prefer..."), then give one or two specific examples with correct names and correct word choices. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., "words watching places", "cherish our movements"). Keep it within 2–4 sentences and correct article use and plural/singular errors.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has many beautiful places. For example, the mountain resorts like Shimla and Manali offer stunning landscapes and fresh air, so I usually choose to visit them to relax and take photos.

× I am a kind of person who love capturing memories, uh, through my smartphones nowadays.

✓ I am the kind of person who loves capturing memories through my smartphone nowadays.

Subject 'who' refers to 'I' so the verb must agree with third person singular 'who' -> 'loves'. Also 'a kind of' is better with 'the kind of', 'smartphones' singular preferred when referring to one's device. Remove filler words for clarity.

× Very convenient and you can say it's very easy to capture the moments, uh, because of the gadgets we have and I love to capture.

✓ It is very convenient, and you could say it is very easy to capture moments because of the gadgets we have, and I love doing so.

Sentence lacked a clear subject and had article misuse 'the moments' — use general 'moments'. Also change 'it's' to 'it is' for formality and 'capture' to 'doing so' to avoid repeating the verb. Remove filler 'uh' and correct conjunction use.

× I prefer views in rural areas because I think in rural areas there is a less pollution and the greenery is more as compared to the urban one and rural areas are more calm and they are more refreshing.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I think there is less pollution in rural areas, and the greenery is greater compared to urban areas; rural areas are calmer and more refreshing.

'Less pollution' does not need 'a'; use 'less' with uncountable noun. 'The greenery is more' is unnatural — use 'the greenery is greater' or 'there is more greenery'. 'As compared to the urban one' is incorrect — compare plural 'urban areas'. Adjectives 'calm' should be comparative 'calmer'. Sentence split for clarity.

× In my country there are so many words watching places like Mum, especially the mountain areas like Shimla, Manali and I prefer views in my country because it has a lots of prominent places where we can go and cherish our movements and enjoy and yeah, so I prefer going there.

✓ In my country there are many worth-watching places, especially mountain areas like Shimla and Manali. I prefer views in my country because it has many prominent places where we can go, enjoy, and create memories, so I prefer going there.

'Words watching' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'worth-watching' or 'worth seeing'. 'Mum' likely a typo — omitted. 'a lots of' is incorrect; use 'many' or 'a lot of'. 'Cherish our movements' is wrong; use 'create memories' or 'cherish moments'. Replace informal 'yeah' and restructure into two sentences for clarity.