Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail with a linking phrase. Avoid filler words (e.g., "I really") and incorrect phrasing ("while taking the view"). Also try to vary vocabulary: use words like "landscapes," "architecture," or "skylines."

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially architectural landmarks and skies. For example, I often take pictures of old churches because their details and shapes create striking compositions, and I also like capturing cloud formations at sunset to show contrast in color.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then explain why using linking words (e.g., "because," "however"). Replace vague phrases with specific reasons or examples and avoid filler sounds like "Umm."

例: I prefer both urban and rural views because each offers different photographic opportunities. For instance, urban areas provide interesting architecture and busy streets, whereas rural areas offer peaceful landscapes and natural light that are great for wide shots.

提案: Correct unclear words ("wheels" seems wrong) and give a clear reason with specific examples. Begin with a topic sentence stating your preference, then add a concrete example and a linking word (e.g., "because"). Remove repetition and filler words.

例: I prefer photographing views in my own country because I find local landscapes and cultural scenes more familiar and meaningful. For example, I like capturing rural festivals and traditional buildings that reflect my country’s history and unique character.

× I like taking pictures of different views such as churches or I really enjoy while taking the view of the sky, the different part of the clouds or other things.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views, such as churches, and I also really enjoy taking pictures of the sky, the different parts of the clouds, and other things.

The original sentence misuses 'while taking' and has inconsistent structure. The verb + -ing form should be used consistently: 'enjoy taking' rather than 'enjoy while taking'. Also plural 'parts' is required for 'different parts of the clouds'. Improving parallel structure (using 'and I also really enjoy taking...') makes the sentence clearer.

× I prefer both. Umm each have different aspect to capturing it.

✓ I prefer both. Each has a different aspect to capturing them.

'Each' is a singular pronoun and requires a singular verb, so 'have' should be 'has'. Also 'aspect' needs the article 'a', and the pronoun reference should match plural 'both' as 'them' or rephrase to avoid ambiguity. Alternatively: 'Each has a different aspect to capturing it' was corrected to 'Each has a different aspect to capturing them' to agree in number.

× I prefer capturing wheels in my country because I get really satisfied when I captured different and unique part of the country. Umm unique part of the the view in my country.

✓ I prefer capturing scenes in my country because I feel really satisfied when I capture different and unique parts of the country, and the unique views in my country.

'Wheels' is likely the wrong noun; 'scenes' or 'views' fits context. Pronoun and verb forms were inconsistent: use present tense 'capture' to match habitual preference. 'Part' should be plural 'parts', and duplicate 'the the' removed. Also 'get really satisfied' is better as 'feel really satisfied'. The correction ensures consistent pronoun use and verb tense.