Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve accuracy, clarity and fluency. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. 'pictures' not 'picture', 'views' not 'wheels') and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences and use varied vocabulary (e.g. 'capture', 'memories', 'landscape').

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me remember where I have been. For example, I always capture landscape shots and save them on my phone so I can look back at the scenery. I also share these photos with my friends to tell them about the places I visited.

提案: Work on accuracy and specific vocabulary, and remove fillers (umm). Use linking words to make reasons clear. Correct singular/plural and choose precise descriptive words (e.g. 'trees', 'picturesque scenery' instead of 'pitfall scenery'). Provide one clear comparison and a brief example.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they have more trees and picturesque scenery, which I find more relaxing. In contrast, urban views often include many buildings and cars, so they feel busier and less photogenic.

提案: Make answers more direct and grammatical. Avoid vague phrases ('open mind', 'greenery things', 'we are absolutely unique') and reduce hearsay. State your preference clearly, give a reason and a specific detail or example. Use linking words (for example, because, for instance).

例: I prefer views in other countries because I hope to visit places I haven't seen yet. For instance, I would love to go to Switzerland because of its dramatic mountains, clear lakes and green valleys, which seem very different from landscapes at home.

× Yes, I really like taking picture of different wheels as it's helped me to remember the place that I went to.

✓ Yes, I really like taking pictures of different places as it has helped me remember the places that I went to.

The student used singular 'picture' and 'place' where plural is required because they refer to multiple items; also 'wheels' seems incorrect contextually and likely intended 'views' or 'places'. 'It's helped me to remember' uses contraction with past participle; 'it has helped me remember' is clearer. Suggestion: use plural nouns when referring to more than one item and use 'has helped me remember' for natural phrasing.

× Especially I I always keep this picture on my phone and I really like to share this photo to my friends and talk about the place that I went to.

✓ Especially, I always keep these pictures on my phone and I really like to share them with my friends and talk about the places I went to.

Pronouns and determiners: 'this picture' should be plural 'these pictures' if referring to multiple, and 'this photo' should match as 'them'. Preposition 'to my friends' is incorrect here; use 'with my friends'. Also 'the place that I went to' should be plural if multiple places. Suggestion: match singular/plural consistently and use 'share with' for sharing content.

× This is because in rural areas there's a lot of tree and more pitfall scenery compared to urban area.

✓ This is because in rural areas there are a lot of trees and more peaceful scenery compared to urban areas.

With plural noun 'trees' use 'there are' not 'there's'. 'Tree' should be plural 'trees'. 'Pitfall scenery' is likely a wrong word choice; 'peaceful scenery' fits context. Also 'urban area' should be plural 'urban areas' to match comparison. Suggestion: use 'there are' for plural nouns and choose appropriate adjectives for intended meaning.

× There's a lot of umm buildings and cars which is not umm great for taking picture.

✓ There are a lot of buildings and cars, which are not great for taking pictures.

'There's' should be 'There are' for plural 'buildings and cars'. The relative clause must agree: use 'which are not great' (plural) not 'is'. 'Taking picture' should be 'taking pictures'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement in existential constructions and match verb number in relative clauses.

× I might prefer view in other countries as my dream.

✓ I might prefer views in other countries as my dream.

The noun 'view' should be plural 'views' when speaking generally about types of scenery in other countries. Suggestion: use plural nouns when referring to general or multiple examples.

× I would like to go to Switzerland and it is umm, really open mind with a lot of greenery things and we are absolutely unique because I heard everyone say that Switzerland is the best country to visit.

✓ I would like to go to Switzerland because it is really open-minded with a lot of greenery, and it seems unique; I have heard many people say that Switzerland is the best country to visit.

Several issues: 'open mind' should be adjective 'open-minded'. 'Greenery things' is incorrect; use 'greenery' or 'green landscapes'. 'We are absolutely unique' is wrong in context; speaker likely means 'it seems unique' or 'it is unique'. 'I heard everyone say' is better as 'I have heard many people say' for accuracy. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms, combine ideas into clearer clauses, and use appropriate expressions for reported opinion.