Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조를 더 간결하게 하고 핵심을 먼저 말한 뒤 구체적 예시를 덧붙이세요. 현재 답변은 자연스럽고 풍부하지만 문장이 다소 길고 중복된 표현이 있습니다. 예를 들어 ‘I love taking photos’라는 주제문을 제시한 뒤, 언제 어떻게 촬영하는지(예: 휴가 때, 일출·일몰 등)와 한 가지 구체적인 이유나 예시(예: 특정 장소에서 찍은 사진 한 장)를 덧붙이면 더 명확하고 설득력 있는 답변이 됩니다.

例: Yes, I love taking photos, especially landscapes. For example, when I visit a mountain or a lakeside, I always bring my camera to capture the light at sunrise. I do this because the early light highlights colors and creates a peaceful mood, which I like to preserve in my images.

提案: 발음/어휘 실수와 중복 표현을 고치고 문장을 논리적으로 연결하세요. 'abuse'나 'store' 같은 단어 선택 오류가 있어 의미 전달이 방해됩니다. 또한 'umm'과 중복된 연결어(두 번의 'and')를 줄이세요. 주제문(선호) → 이유(자연, 적은 광공해) → 구체적 예(별 보기) 순으로 간결하게 말하면 점수가 올라갑니다.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I love nature and open spaces. In the countryside there is far less light pollution and fewer buildings, so the sky is much clearer and I can often see many stars.

提案: 문장은 전반적으로 괜찮지만 약간 길고 연결어가 반복됩니다. 한두 개의 구체적 예시(특정 나라나 풍경 유형)와 한 문장으로 요약된 이유를 추가하면 더 설득력 있습니다. 또한 'culture'는 단수 취급을 하되 구체적으로 어떤 문화적 요소가 영감을 주는지 말하면 좋습니다.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering different landscapes and cultures. For instance, seeing the dramatic coastline in Portugal or the rice terraces in Japan gives me fresh inspiration and new ideas for photography.

× Yes, I definitely prefer abuse in rural areas because I love nature and I love looking at the store.

✓ Yes, I definitely prefer views in rural areas because I love nature and I love looking at the scenery.

The student used incorrect words: 'abuse' and 'store' are wrong choices in this context. This is a word choice issue rather than a specific grammatical tense or agreement error; map to incorrect use of pronouns/words under the provided list (use ID 12 for incorrect use of pronouns/words). Replace 'abuse' with 'views' to match the question meaning, and 'store' with 'scenery' to refer to natural sights. Suggestion: choose vocabulary that matches the semantic context (e.g., 'views', 'scenery', 'landscape').

× Umm in the countryside there is much less light pollution and fewer buildings so the sky is clearer and and there I can see a lot of stars.

✓ In the countryside there is much less light pollution and fewer buildings, so the sky is clearer and I can see a lot of stars.

The original sentence contains a repeated 'and and' and punctuation issues. This is a sentence structure/conjunction error (ID 16 and 26). Remove the duplicate 'and', add a comma before 'so' for clarity, and remove the unnecessary 'there' after 'and' because it is redundant. Suggestion: read sentences aloud to catch repetitions and use commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy seeing different landscapes and culture, which often feel more diverse and surprising than familiar places at home, and they give a lot of inspiration for me.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy seeing different landscapes and cultures, which often feel more diverse and surprising than familiar places at home, and they give me a lot of inspiration.

There are two issues: 'culture' should be plural 'cultures' to match 'landscapes' (parallel noun form) — this is an incorrect use of adjectives/nouns (ID 13) and also a singular/plural consistency issue (ID 1). Additionally, 'give a lot of inspiration for me' is unidiomatic; correct is 'give me a lot of inspiration'. This fixes word order and pronoun use (map to ID 20/12). Suggestion: maintain parallel structures (use plural nouns when listing multiple items) and use natural English collocations like 'give me inspiration' rather than 'give inspiration for me'.