Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incomplete endings. Also correct small grammar errors (e.g., articles, plural forms) and finish your thoughts.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views when I travel. For example, I often photograph mountains and rivers because I rarely see such landscapes at home, and I like to capture those moments to remember the trip.

提案: Clarify your main preference and avoid conflicting statements. Use a clear topic sentence (state urban or rural), then give reasons with linking words. Correct vocabulary (e.g., "boats" seems wrong) and grammar (plural/singular, articles). Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because I enjoy connecting with nature. For instance, I like looking at mountains, rivers and waterfalls, which feel peaceful and refreshing. However, sometimes I appreciate cityscapes with tall buildings for their energy and architecture.

提案: Give a clear, complete response: state your preference, then explain with specific reasons and an example. Avoid trailing off and compare explicitly using linking words (e.g., "whereas", "however"). Fix grammar and word choice ("modern technology structures" -> "modern architectural structures").

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering new places and cultures. For example, I like seeing modern architectural structures and different city layouts abroad, whereas in my country many buildings are older and less modern.

× I like taking pictures of different scenes when I travel because I usually see interesting things on the road, like mountains sometimes I see the rivers and because I don't see this on a daily basis, I enjoy capturing these moments because it's.

✓ I like taking pictures of different scenes when I travel because I usually see interesting things on the road, like mountains and rivers; since I do not see these every day, I enjoy capturing these moments.

Run-on sentence and unclear connectors cause sentence structure errors. The original uses multiple 'because' and fragments ('it's') and lacks proper conjunctions and punctuation. Suggestion: join related ideas with 'and' or a semicolon, use 'since' for reason, and pluralize 'these' to match 'mountains and rivers.' Remove the incomplete 'it's.' Grammar problem type ID:26

× Actually, I actually prefer boats.

✓ Actually, I prefer rural views.

The original sentence 'I actually prefer boats' is likely incorrect in context (asked about urban or rural views). It also contains redundancy ('Actually, I actually'). The error is misuse of vocabulary/articles relative to context. Suggestion: remove redundancy and use the correct noun phrase 'rural views' or 'rural areas.' Grammar problem type ID:22

× Sometimes I just want to connect with nature and see the beautiful parts of life, like looking at mountains and rivers, what towering waterfalls in the rural area.

✓ Sometimes I just want to connect with nature and see the beautiful parts of life, like mountains, rivers, and towering waterfalls in rural areas.

The phrase 'what towering waterfalls' is ungrammatical and 'the rural area' is too specific; the list is awkward. Fix by using parallel nouns separated by commas and pluralize 'rural areas' for general statements. This corrects sentence structure and parallelism. Grammar problem type ID:26

× And sometimes I just want to see the cityscape, the high rise building.

✓ And sometimes I just want to see the cityscape and the high-rise buildings.

Use of the definite article and singular 'the high rise building' is incorrect for general preference. 'High-rise' should be hyphenated as an adjective and pluralized for general reference. Suggestion: use 'the cityscape and high-rise buildings' or 'high-rise buildings' without 'the.' Grammar problem type ID:22

× I like seeing the views in other countries because I like seeing new things.

✓ I like seeing views in other countries because I enjoy experiencing new things.

Repetition of 'like seeing' makes the sentence awkward. Improve sentence by varying vocabulary ('enjoy experiencing') and removing unnecessary articles. This enhances clarity and flow. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I prefer to see the different cultures and the modern technology structures in other countries unlike in my country where they are old buildings unless.

✓ I prefer to see different cultures and modern technological structures in other countries, unlike in my country where many buildings are old.

'Modern technology structures' is awkward; 'technological structures' or 'modern technology' is better. The clause ends with 'unless,' leaving it incomplete. Also 'they are old buildings' should be rephrased to 'many buildings are old.' Suggestion: remove 'the' before general nouns, use 'modern technological structures,' and avoid sentence-final 'unless' unless followed by a condition. Grammar problem type ID:13