Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 의미가 모호합니다. 질문에 직접적으로 답하고 이유나 추가 설명을 덧붙이세요. 또한 문법 오류(부정 표현 사용)와 어휘 선택을 고쳐 명확한 주제문을 제시해야 합니다. 예를 들어, ‘I don’t really enjoy taking photos of different views.’처럼 명확한 주제문을 쓰고, ‘because…’로 이유를 연결해 구체적인 예를 제시하세요.

例: I don’t really enjoy taking photos of different views because I prefer capturing people and candid moments. For example, when I travel I focus on photographing local markets and the expressions of vendors rather than landscapes.

提案: 문장에 오타(‘music’)와 어색한 어휘 사용이 있습니다. 주제문을 명확히 하고 이유를 구체적으로 설명하세요. 연결어(for example, because, which)로 논리 흐름을 개선하고 간결하게 유지하세요. 예를 들어 ‘I prefer rural areas because they are peaceful and less crowded’처럼 시작한 뒤 구체적 상황을 덧붙이세요.

例: I prefer rural areas because they are peaceful and less crowded, which helps me relax. For example, I enjoy walking in the countryside and listening to birds rather than the constant noise of the city.

提案: 문장이 문법적으로 불완전하고 어색합니다(‘a beautiful things in’). 시제와 단수/복수 일치, 전치사 사용을 고쳐야 합니다. 명확한 주제문으로 시작한 뒤 이유와 구체적 예시를 제공하세요. 연결어(‘but’, ‘because’, ‘for example’)를 활용해 흐름을 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: I used to prefer scenery in other countries, but recently I’ve come to appreciate my own country’s landscapes because I’ve noticed many hidden gems. For example, I discovered a nearby coastal village with stunning cliffs and clear water that I never knew existed.

× It's not like taking pictures of different views.

✓ I don't like taking pictures of different views.

The original sentence uses 'It's not like' which is incorrect to express personal preference; use the subject 'I' with the verb 'like'. This is a sentence structure and subject-verb issue. Suggestion: Use 'I don't like' + gerund when stating dislikes (e.g., 'I don't like taking pictures of different views').

× I prefer music rural areas because the view of rural areas makes me very calm.

✓ I prefer rural areas because the views there make me feel very calm.

'music' is incorrect here; likely a mistaken word. Also 'the view of rural areas makes me very calm' is awkward: 'views' plural and 'make me feel calm' is natural. Suggestion: Remove the wrong word, use plural 'views' and the verb phrase 'make me feel' to describe emotional effect.

× I used to prefer views in other countries, but recently I love my own country's scenery because I started to find a beautiful things in.

✓ I used to prefer views in other countries, but recently I have come to love my own country's scenery because I have started to notice its beauty.

Several problems: 'recently I love' is awkward—use present perfect 'have come to love' or 'have started to love' to show a change extending to now. 'I started to find a beautiful things in.' is ungrammatical: 'a beautiful things' mixes singular and plural and lacks an object after 'in'. Better phrasing is 'have started to notice its beauty' or 'started finding beauty in it'. Suggestion: Use present perfect for recent changes and correct noun forms and pronouns (e.g., 'its beauty' or 'in it').