Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và phát âm, tránh lặp từ, dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể hơn. Nên sửa thì (helped → helps), bỏ từ thừa (“and and”), dùng danh từ số nhiều/đúng (photos), và dùng từ vựng phù hợp (reflection thay vì “refluxation”). Đồng thời giữ câu ngắn hơn 3–4 câu để tự nhiên và mạch lạc; thêm liên từ thích hợp (for example, when...).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me relax and appreciate beautiful scenery. For example, when I walk along the river, I often take photos of the vibrant colors and the reflection of light on the water. These moments make me feel calm and refreshed.

提案: Cải thiện trôi chảy, phát âm và ngữ pháp cơ bản; tránh hesitations (“uh”), dùng từ đúng (forever → prefer; mommy → me; mortgage → mountain? or mosque? unclear), và cấu trúc câu rõ ràng: nêu quan điểm, giải thích lý do, đưa ví dụ cụ thể. Tránh dùng từ sai nghĩa và câu lộn xộn. Luyện nối ý với liên từ như Because, For example, and So.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy open landscapes and natural scenery. They make me feel relaxed and less stressed than crowded cities. For example, walking by a river or through a field after a busy day helps me unwind.

提案: Sửa lỗi phát âm/ghi chép (Ice → I like), ngữ pháp (views … are → views in my country are familiar to me), từ vựng (family → familiar; it's a remind → they remind me), và cấu trúc rõ ràng: nêu quan điểm, giải thích lý do, so sánh ngắn gọn. Dùng linking words như However hoặc Although để chỉ sự tương phản.

例: I like views in my own country because they feel familiar and remind me of childhood memories. However, I sometimes enjoy views abroad for their unique architecture, but they don't feel as homely as those at home.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because it helped me relax and and enjoy beautiful scenes.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because they help me relax and enjoy beautiful scenes.

The student mixed present tense 'like' with past tense 'helped'. Use present tense 'help' to match 'I like'. Also 'and and' is a typing repetition; remove duplicate. Additionally 'pictures' is plural, so refer with 'they'. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent and proofread for repeated words.

× For example, when I walk along the river, I often capture photo of a vibrant color and refluxation or light on the.

✓ For example, when I walk along the river, I often capture photos of vibrant colors and reflections of light on the water.

Multiple errors: 'capture photo' needs plural 'capture photos' or 'capture a photo' (article). 'A vibrant color' should be 'vibrant colors' to match general observation. 'refluxation' is incorrect word; use 'reflections'. The phrase 'light on the' is incomplete; add the noun 'water'. Suggestion: use correct nouns, proper articles, and plural forms when speaking generally.

× I uh, forever view in rural areas because I, uh, I found open landscape and natural sceneries.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I find open landscapes and natural scenery.

'Forever' is wrong word choice; use 'prefer'. Tense: use present tense 'find' to state preference. 'Open landscape' should be plural 'open landscapes' or 'an open landscape'; 'natural sceneries' is uncountable, use 'natural scenery'. Suggestion: choose correct verbs for preferences and correct countability for nouns.

× It makes mommy feel really nice and more comfortable than crowded city.

✓ It makes me feel really relaxed and more comfortable than a crowded city.

'Mommy' is incorrect pronoun for speaking about self; should be 'me'. 'Nice' is informal and vague; 'relaxed' fits context. Also comparison needs article 'a' before 'crowded city'. Suggestion: use correct personal pronouns and appropriate comparative structures with articles.

× For example, walking by the river or uh, a mortgage help me and wind up so busy days.

✓ For example, walking by the river helps me unwind after very busy days.

Sentence contains wrong word 'mortgage' (incorrect vocabulary), missing verb agreement, and awkward phrase 'wind up so busy days'. Use 'helps me unwind' (singular subject 'walking' requires 'helps') and 'after very busy days' to express relief. Suggestion: check word choice and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Ice river views in my country is because they are very family with me and it's a remind me of my childhood memory.

✓ I like river views in my country because they feel very familiar to me and they remind me of my childhood.

Several errors: 'Ice' is typo for 'I', 'is because' incorrect structure; use 'I like... because'. 'They are very family with me' should be 'they feel very familiar to me'. 'It's a remind me' incorrect; use 'they remind me'. Also maintain plural agreement: 'views... they'. Suggestion: correct typos, use 'feel familiar to' and correct verb forms.

× Sometime I enjoy views in another country for their architecture but they don't feel as homely.

✓ Sometimes I enjoy views in other countries for their architecture, but they don't feel as homely.

Use 'Sometimes' (adverb) not 'Sometime'. 'Views in another country' is acceptable but using plural 'other countries' is more general. Tense and structure are fine; add comma before 'but'. Suggestion: use correct adverb forms and consistent pluralization when speaking generally.