Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and avoid repetition. Include one specific example and a brief reason. Also correct vocabulary (e.g., 'photos' not 'picture' singular/plural issues) and fix pronunciation/word choice mistakes (e.g., 'Phil' unclear).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. Whenever I go sightseeing I always take photos, especially of landscapes and city skylines, because photos help me remember the atmosphere and details of the place.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (singular/plural, articles) and avoid repetition and fillers. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'clean air', 'peaceful', 'less noisy').

例: I prefer rural areas because they are usually quieter and have cleaner air. For example, when I visit the countryside I can hear birds, enjoy wide green fields, and relax without the traffic noise of the city.

提案: Start with a direct answer and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Improve grammar (use 'views' plural, 'resident' vs 'citizen' unnecessary), avoid vague phrases and incomplete examples. Mention a specific place to support your idea.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I feel a strong connection to Vietnam’s landscapes. For instance, I love the dramatic scenery of Ha Long Bay and the terraced rice fields in Sapa, which remind me of my childhood and local culture.

× Thus I'm into taking picture of different view.

✓ Thus I'm into taking pictures of different views.

The noun after a gerund should be plural when referring to general instances. 'Picture' and 'view' need plural forms. Also 'into' + gerund is correct but the sentence needs plural nouns for natural English. Suggestion: Use 'taking pictures of different views.'

× Whenever I I go sightseeing, I take picture of Phil.

✓ Whenever I go sightseeing, I take pictures of places I find appealing.

There is a pluralization error: 'take picture' should be 'take pictures' when referring to multiple photographs. Also 'Phil' seems incorrect contextually; replaced with a general phrase. Remove duplicate 'I'. Suggestion: Say 'Whenever I go sightseeing, I take pictures of places I find appealing.'

× I think it's a good way to keep the moment.

✓ I think it's a good way to preserve the moment.

The phrase 'keep the moment' is not idiomatic. Use 'preserve the moment' or 'capture the moment.' Suggestion: Use 'preserve' or 'capture' for the intended meaning.

× For me, I prefer rural rural area because nowadays urban area is so polluted, so the rural area often is often more peaceful and uh the rural area have passed straight air that make me.

✓ For me, I prefer rural areas because nowadays urban areas are so polluted, so rural areas are often more peaceful and have fresher air that I enjoy.

Multiple pluralization and agreement errors: 'rural rural area' is duplicated; 'rural area' should be plural when speaking generally. 'Urban area is' should be 'urban areas are.' 'The rural area have' should be 'rural areas have.' 'Passed straight air' is incorrect phrasing; use 'fresher air.' Also remove filler 'uh' and correct sentence flow. Suggestion: 'I prefer rural areas because urban areas are often more polluted and rural areas tend to be more peaceful and have fresher air.'

× I prefer view in my own country because I'm a Vietnamese resident so I love my country very much and the view in my country is so beautiful and pictured my country have some beautiful head destination like.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because I'm a Vietnamese resident, so I love my country very much; the views here are beautiful and my country has some popular tourist destinations.

Use plural 'views' when speaking generally. 'Pictured my country have some beautiful head destination like' is ungrammatical and unclear; corrected to 'my country has some popular tourist destinations.' Also adjust punctuation and conjunctions for clarity. Suggestion: 'I prefer views in my own country because I love it; it has many beautiful sights and popular destinations.'