Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons with brief explanations. Avoid vague phrases like "and so on." Use correct verb forms and articles.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I take photos to keep my family updated about my travels, and I often share them with friends so they can see where I’ve been. Also, photographing beautiful scenes lifts my mood and helps me remember special moments.

提案: Correct repetition and grammar, and add a linking word for contrast. Provide one concrete detail about rural views to make the answer more specific.

例: I prefer rural areas to urban ones because I currently live in a polluted city. In rural areas there is fresher air and quieter surroundings, for example wide green fields and clear rivers, which help me relax and spend quality time with my family.

提案: Fix grammar and clarity. Begin with a direct statement, then name a specific country and give two clear, concrete reasons why you like its views. Avoid filler phrases like "and so on."

例: I prefer views in other countries, especially Switzerland. The Swiss landscapes have dramatic mountains and clear lakes, which I find breathtaking, and the well-preserved nature offers many scenic hiking routes and photo opportunities.

× There's several reasons why I like to take pictures.

✓ There are several reasons why I like to take pictures.

Subject 'several reasons' is plural, so use plural form of 'there be': 'there are' not 'there's'. Suggestion: match 'there' verb number to the following noun phrase.

× One of them is be updated to my family, second is to share with my friends where I have been and so on.

✓ One of them is to keep my family updated; another is to share with my friends where I have been, and so on.

After 'is' use an infinitive or noun phrase. 'Be updated to my family' is ungrammatical and 'be updated' passive with wrong preposition. Use 'to keep my family updated' and separate items with clear structure. Also replace 'second is' with 'another is'.

× One of them is be updated to my family, second is to share with my friends where I have been and so on.

✓ One of them is to keep my family updated; another is to share with my friends where I have been, and so on.

The preposition 'to' after 'updated' is incorrect. Use 'keep someone updated' or 'update someone on/about something'. Suggestion: say 'keep my family updated' or 'update my family on my trips'.

× I actually I prefer rural areas as I am living now in urban areas and so there is a huge pollution, serious problems.

✓ I actually prefer rural areas because I am living in an urban area now, and there is a lot of pollution and serious problems.

Use consistent singular/plural: 'urban area' or 'urban areas'. 'Pollution' is uncountable so use 'a lot of pollution' not 'a huge pollution'. Also remove duplicated 'I'. Suggestion: choose singular or plural form and use uncountable noun patterns.

× So in rural areas there is a lot of fresh air that helps you to relax and enjoy with your family.

✓ So in rural areas there is a lot of fresh air that helps you relax and enjoy time with your family.

Do not use 'enjoy with your family'—'enjoy' is transitive and needs an object (e.g., 'enjoy time with') or use 'enjoy being with'. Also 'helps you to relax' can be 'helps you relax'. Suggestion: use correct collocations: 'enjoy time with your family'.

× Actually yes, I prefer to views and other countries.

✓ Actually yes, I prefer views in other countries.

Incorrect structure: 'prefer to views and other countries' is ungrammatical. Use 'prefer views in other countries' or 'prefer the views of other countries'. Suggestion: include preposition 'in' to link 'views' and 'other countries'.

× The 1 immediately pops up.

✓ The first place that immediately pops into my mind is Switzerland.

Original is unclear and ungrammatical. 'The 1' is improper; use 'the first' or 'the first thing' and idiom 'pops into my mind'. Suggestion: say 'The first thing that comes to mind is...' or 'My mind immediately goes to Switzerland.'

× My mind is Switzerland. There is a lot of mountains and landscape there is so beautiful, fascinating and so on.

✓ I think of Switzerland. It has many mountains and beautiful, fascinating landscapes.

'My mind is Switzerland' is incorrect expression. 'A lot of mountains' should be 'many mountains' (countable). 'Landscape' should be plural 'landscapes' and adjectives should be ordered and connected properly. Suggestion: use 'many' with countable nouns and plural nouns when describing multiple features.