Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with brief supporting detail. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. "go ahead person") and correct grammar (plural/singular, articles). Limit to 3–4 short sentences and use linking words like "because" or "so".

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because I love exploring new places. For example, I often photograph mountains and coastlines when I travel because their light and colors change throughout the day. This helps me capture unique scenes and improve my photography skills.

提案: Answer directly and professionally. Give a clear preference sentence, then one specific reason or example. Avoid irrelevant or inappropriate details (e.g. mentioning meeting girls). Use linking words such as "because" or "however" and correct prepositions and tense.

例: I prefer rural views because I find the countryside more peaceful and scenic. For instance, I enjoy photographing rolling fields and quiet villages, which feel calmer than the busy city streets. This contrast helps me relax and focus on composition.

提案: Give a clear preference and a concise reason. Remove filler words ("um", "uh") and correct vocabulary (e.g. "bills" → "views"). Use one linking phrase like "because" and provide a specific example of what you want to see abroad. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I want to discover landscapes and cultures different from those in Vietnam. For example, I would like to photograph European towns and Asian mountains I haven't seen yet to broaden my visual experience.

× Yes, I really like to take pictures of different views because I am a go ahead person so I really like to explore different place especially is the some gorgeous place in this world. Yes.

✓ Yes, I really like taking pictures of different views because I am a go-ahead person, so I really like to explore different places, especially the most gorgeous places in the world.

Multiple errors: 'go ahead person' is informal adjective phrase—use 'go-ahead' (11 Incorrect use of prepositions? actually choice) Issues corrected according to list: 1 Singular and plural issue (place -> places), 13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (go ahead -> go-ahead), 26 Sentence structure errors (awkward phrasing 'especially is the some gorgeous place' corrected to 'especially the most gorgeous places') and 8 Verb + -ing form (like to take pictures -> like taking pictures to match natural preference). Suggestion: use plural for general items, hyphenate compound adjectives, use gerund after 'like', and simplify phrase order.

× I think I will prefer views in rural areas because I am a person living through urban areas so I can meet a lot of girls in the city all day by day. So yes, I really like to watch and see the rural areas.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I live in an urban area, so I see many people in the city every day. I really enjoy looking at rural scenery.

Errors addressed: 6 Present tense issue (I think I will prefer -> I prefer), 1 Singular and plural issue (urban areas -> an urban area), 12 Incorrect use of pronouns/phrasing (meet a lot of girls -> see many people; avoid unnecessary gender reference), 26 Sentence structure errors ('all day by day' -> every day), 13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs ('watch and see' -> 'looking at'). Suggestion: use simple present for general preferences, use 'every day' for habitual actions, and choose concise verbs like 'enjoy looking at' for scenery.

× Umm, maybe I will prefer bills in, uh, other country because I live in my country is uh, Vietnam and, and I see a lot of landscape and cityscape at this the country and I want to explore, umm, more views in other countries in this world.

✓ Maybe I prefer views in other countries because I live in Vietnam and have already seen a lot of the landscapes and cityscapes there, so I want to explore more places abroad.

Errors corrected: 6 Present tense issue (maybe I will prefer -> Maybe I prefer), 1 Singular and plural issue (other country -> other countries; or 'in another country' but plural fits context), 26 Sentence structure errors ('I live in my country is Vietnam' -> 'I live in Vietnam'), 9 Verb in the past participle form / tense consistency (I see a lot -> have already seen to indicate experience), 11 Incorrect use of prepositions ('at this the country' removed and replaced with 'there'), 8 Verb + -ing form simplified. Suggestion: use present perfect to describe experiences to date, keep prepositions simple ('in Vietnam' and 'abroad'), and avoid filler words.