Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (where, when, or why), using linking words to connect ideas. Correct minor grammar (e.g., “storing them as memories” and “recall them in the future”). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love photographing different views, especially dawn scenes. I enjoy dawn because the soft light and quiet streets create a peaceful atmosphere, which looks beautiful in photos. For example, I often get up early to capture the sunrise over the river, and those images help me remember the moment.

提案: Organize your response with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then explain reasons with coherent linking words. Avoid contradictions (you say you prefer rural views but claim to be a city girl — clarify relationship). Keep sentences shorter and correct grammar (e.g., remove extra 'I'm'). Provide specific examples of rural scenes you like.

例: I prefer rural views because they feel more tranquil and scenic. Although I grew up in a city, I enjoy visiting the countryside where I can photograph rolling fields and traditional villages; for instance, I love taking pictures of mist-covered farms at dawn because they have a calm, timeless quality.

提案: Make the contrast clearer and fix grammar and word choice. State preference, then give one or two specific reasons and an example of a foreign place you want to visit. Use correct phrases (e.g., “aesthetics” → “aesthetic appeal” or “scenic beauty”; “by my own eye” → “with my own eyes”). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer the views in my own country because they feel familiar and meaningful to me. However, I am also eager to see foreign landscapes for their different styles; for example, I want to visit the Netherlands to photograph its canals, windmills, and tulip fields because of their unique aesthetic appeal and vivid colors.

× I love taking pictures of different views.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses verb + -ing form after 'love' to express a general preference.

× Especially I really love taking pictures of the dawn.

✓ I especially really love taking pictures of the dawn.

Word order: adverb 'especially' should come before the verb phrase or directly before the element it modifies. Reordering improves natural English: 'I especially really love...' or better 'I really love taking pictures of the dawn.' Suggest removing 'especially' or 'really' to avoid redundancy.

× I think taking pictures is the best way of storing them as a memory which you can recall further in future.

✓ I think taking pictures is the best way to store memories that you can recall in the future.

Awkward structure: use infinitive 'to store' instead of 'way of storing them as a memory'; 'them' is unclear; 'further in future' is redundant. Use 'memories' (plural) and 'in the future' for natural phrasing.

× Umm.

✓ (no correction - filler utterance acceptable)

Filler 'Umm' is not grammatical content and acceptable in spoken test; no grammatical correction required.

× I definitely prefer views of rural areas. I'm I consider myself a city girl.

✓ I definitely prefer views of rural areas. I consider myself a city girl.

Redundant 'I'm' followed by 'I consider' causes grammatical error. Remove 'I'm' so subject and verb agree and sentence is fluent.

× I was born in an urban area so waking up early and seeing the dawn is something that comes more naturally to me, so seeing busy rural areas always impresses me a lot.

✓ I was born in an urban area, so waking up early and seeing the dawn come more naturally to me; therefore, busy rural views always impress me.

Verb agreement and parallel structure: use 'come' (plural idea of waking up early and seeing the dawn) or rephrase to singular 'waking up early and seeing the dawn is something that comes...' Original is wordy and has comma splice. Also 'impresses me a lot' is informal; 'impress me' or 'always impresses me' combined with rephrasing for clarity.

× I definitely prefer views of my own native country, but I would love to experience the views of other countries.

✓ I definitely prefer views of my native country, but I would love to experience the views of other countries.

Minor wording: 'my own native country' is redundant—use 'my native country'. Tense and modal use are correct.

× There are many countries that I look up to and I really want to visit there for their aesthetics career and Netherlands are one of them.

✓ There are many countries that I look up to, and I really want to visit them for their aesthetic appeal; the Netherlands are one of them.

Preposition 'visit there' is redundant—use 'visit them' or 'visit' with no 'there'. 'Aesthetics career' is incorrect: likely 'aesthetic appeal' or 'aesthetic attractions.' Country name: 'the Netherlands' takes definite article. Also need comma and clearer structure.

× I would really like to go there and see everything by my own eye.

✓ I would really like to go there and see everything with my own eyes.

Pronoun and idiom: 'by my own eye' is incorrect; standard idiom is 'with my own eyes.' Use plural 'eyes.'