Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and repetition, and add one brief reason with a linking word. Use varied vocabulary like "capture" or "photograph."

例: Not really. I prefer to stay present and enjoy the experience rather than photographing it because taking photos often distracts me from the moment.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to compare. Reduce filler words and correct small grammar (e.g. "the countryside", "the city's vibe"). Add one specific example to be more convincing.

例: It depends on my mood. If I want to relax, I prefer the countryside because the quiet fields and fresh air calm me; however, if I need energy, I choose the city since its lively atmosphere and cafes boost my mood.

提案: Make a direct statement and give a clear reason with correct word choice and grammar. Replace unclear words ("exerting") with accurate vocabulary ("striking"), avoid repetition, and include a short concrete example of a memorable view.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they often offer striking landscapes and new perspectives that inspire my creativity; for example, seeing a dramatic coastline abroad once prompted me to sketch and photograph the scene to remember it.

× No, I don't actually. I'm, I prefer to focus on the moment and I, I'm, I'm very, I'm, I'm more focused on the experience that I have. So I don't take photos a lot.

✓ No, I don't, actually. I prefer to focus on the moment and I'm more focused on the experience I have, so I don't take photos often.

The original contains redundant filler and disrupted verb forms. Use present simple 'prefer' for habitual preference and present continuous 'I'm more focused' for current tendency; replace 'a lot' with the adverb 'often' for natural placement. Remove repeated 'I'm' and extra commas to form fluent sentences.

× Well, it depends on my mood umm and I want to be relaxed and calm. I prefer to go countryside but I sometimes want to get energy and then I go to the city and the city umm vibe make me feel excited and get more energy.

✓ Well, it depends on my mood and whether I want to be relaxed and calm. I prefer to go to the countryside, but sometimes I want to get energy, so I go to the city and the city's vibe makes me feel excited and energized.

Use 'go to the countryside' (preposition 'to' required). Use 'the city's vibe' with possessive and singular verb 'makes' for subject-verb agreement. Replace 'get more energy' with 'feel energized' for natural expression. Remove filler 'umm' and correct verb number.

× I prefer to other country umm because when I get there I can see exerting views and and they make me umm, creative thinking.

✓ I prefer other countries because when I go there I can see interesting views and they make me think creatively.

Use plural 'other countries' or 'another country' (pronoun/noun choice). Replace 'when I get there' with 'when I go there' for natural movement. 'Exerting' is incorrect; use 'interesting'. 'Make me creative thinking' is ungrammatical; use 'make me think creatively' (verb + adverb).

× So umm, I just said kind of moment and I took the photos of it and I I want to remember it.

✓ So I just had that kind of moment and I took photos of it because I wanted to remember it.

Tense sequence: use past simple 'had' and 'took' for a past event and 'wanted' to match. The original mixes present and past incorrectly. Remove filler 'umm' and duplicate 'I' and correct article use ('took photos of it' rather than 'the photos of it').