Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm), correct tense and sentence structure, and give one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photography helps me preserve memories. For example, when I travel I always photograph landscapes so I can remember the atmosphere and the places I visited later.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, use correct idioms and verb forms, avoid unclear phrases and fillers, and add one specific reason with a linking word. Keep answer under 5 sentences.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy the peaceful atmosphere. For instance, the quiet countryside helps me relax and clear my mind after a busy week in the city.

提案: Provide a clear, grammatical response and avoid invented words. Start with a topic sentence, then contrast home and abroad using linking words (however, while). Use specific vocabulary and examples.

例: I like views both at home and abroad equally. While views at home feel familiar and nostalgic, views in other countries are exciting and diverse, for example I enjoy discovering different architecture and landscapes when I travel.

× Yes, I am very keen on photography because it led me to remember the moment and so after that whenever I look at them, it's like a permanent memory and umm, for example, whenever I go to travel, I capture my.

✓ Yes, I am very keen on photography because it helps me remember the moment, so whenever I look at the photos, it's like a permanent memory. For example, whenever I travel, I capture them.

The original uses 'led me to remember' which incorrectly places the action in the past; present simple 'helps me remember' is appropriate for a habitual or general truth. Also 'look at them' is vague; 'look at the photos' is clearer. 'Whenever I go to travel' is awkward; use 'whenever I travel'. Finally the sentence ended with 'I capture my' which is incomplete; 'I capture them' or 'I take photos' completes the idea. Suggestions: use present simple for habitual actions, ensure objects are explicit, and complete sentence clauses.

× Of course, I prefer the countryside because I love the peaceful atmosphere and being of the beaten path.

✓ Of course, I prefer the countryside because I love the peaceful atmosphere and being off the beaten path.

The idiom is 'off the beaten path' meaning away from popular or busy places. 'Being of the beaten path' is incorrect prepositional use. Suggestion: learn common prepositional idioms and use 'off' with 'the beaten path.'

× The quietness helped me to refresh my mind and uh, so just be careful to you.

✓ The quietness helps me to refresh my mind, and it helps me relax.

'Helped me to refresh' puts the action in past; if speaking about a general effect, present simple 'helps' is correct. The phrase 'so just be careful to you' is ungrammatical and unclear; likely an erroneous fragment. I replaced it with a clear continuation 'and it helps me relax.' Suggestions: use present simple for habitual effects and avoid unrelated or unclear fragments.

× I can choose. I like both of them equally.

✓ I can choose. I like both equally.

Referring to 'both of them' is acceptable but here 'both' alone is more natural. Not strictly wrong but can be simplified. Suggestion: prefer concise pronoun use when context is clear.

× Wheels at Home feels nostalgia and familiar.

✓ Being at home feels nostalgic and familiar.

'Wheels at Home' is incorrect phrasing; likely intended 'Being at home.' 'Feels nostalgia' is wrong because 'nostalgia' is a noun; use the adjective 'nostalgic.' Also 'familiar' pairs with 'feels.' Suggestion: use proper adjective forms after 'feels' (e.g., 'nostalgic').

× Vile Landscapes in Abroad is new and diverse, but each of them has its charm.

✓ Landscapes abroad are new and diverse, but each has its charm.

'Vile Landscapes in Abroad' is incorrect: 'vile' means awful — likely meant 'vivid' or no adjective. 'In Abroad' is ungrammatical; use 'abroad' without 'in.' Also 'each of them has its charm' can be streamlined to 'each has its charm.' Suggestion: use 'abroad' correctly and choose appropriate adjectives (e.g., 'vivid' or omit if unintended).