Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, uh), correct grammar (use 'the best' not 'a best'), and add one specific supporting detail or example using a linking word (e.g., 'for example' or 'because'). Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views when I travel. I think it’s the best way to record memories because pictures capture sights and moods that I can’t always describe. For example, I usually photograph city skylines at sunset to remember the colours and atmosphere.

提案: Improve fluency and accuracy: remove filler words, correct grammar (use 'bother' not 'bothered me'; 'are quiet' not 'is quite'), and use linking words to contrast (e.g., 'while' or 'whereas'). Provide one specific sensory detail to support your preference (sound, smell, sight). Keep answer concise and within five sentences.

例: I prefer rural views rather than urban ones because rural areas are quieter and more relaxing. While cities are noisy and busy with traffic, the countryside has peaceful fields and fresh air, which makes taking photos more enjoyable.

提案: Be direct and grammatically correct. State your position clearly and explain why, using linking words like 'because' or 'for example'. Correct errors: 'I haven’t traveled abroad', 'the views in my country are', 'in the south and northwest'. Add a specific example of a place to make the answer concrete.

例: I haven’t travelled abroad yet, so I prefer views in my own country because they are very beautiful. For example, the landscapes in the south and northwest are stunning, with dramatic mountains and traditional villages that I love to photograph.

× Definitely yes, I always take pictures of views when I travel to another city.

✓ Definitely, yes. I always take pictures of the views when I travel to another city.

Missing article: 'the views' is more natural because specific views (scenery) are being referred to when traveling; add a comma after 'Definitely' for natural speech pause. Suggestion: use 'the' when referring to particular or previously understood things.

× Umm and I think it is a bit a best way to record our life.

✓ Umm, I think it is a bit of a better way to record our lives.

'a bit a best' is ungrammatical. Use 'a bit of a' + adjective or comparative 'better' not superlative 'best' when comparing; also 'our life' should be plural 'our lives' to refer to multiple people's experiences. Suggestion: choose 'better' for comparison and use 'a bit of a' for mild emphasis.

× To be honest, I really prefer to, uh, views in rural areas.

✓ To be honest, I really prefer views in rural areas.

'prefer to views' is incorrect verb pattern. 'Prefer' can be followed directly by a noun: 'prefer views' or by 'to' + verb. Remove extra 'to' and filler 'uh'. Suggestion: say 'I prefer views in rural areas.'

× Uh, I think that the urban areas are very noisy and, and just South of traffic is, uh, bothered me.

✓ Uh, I think that the urban areas are very noisy, and the traffic there bothers me.

'South of traffic' is incorrect and unclear; likely meant 'the traffic' and 'bothered me' is past form while speaking generally—use present 'bothers me'. Also 'and, and just' is redundant. Suggestion: use 'the traffic there bothers me' for general statements.

× Uh, but the rural areas is quite and the scenery there is peaceful.

✓ Uh, but the rural areas are quiet, and the scenery there is peaceful.

'rural areas is' wrong subject-verb agreement (plural subject needs 'are') and 'quite' used alone is incomplete—should be 'quiet'. Suggestion: use correct adjective 'quiet' and match verb 'are' with plural 'areas'.

× Actually, I don't know, I uh, don't have a journey abroad.

✓ Actually, I don't know. I haven't had a trip abroad.

'don't have a journey abroad' is unnatural and mixes present simple with intended past experience. Use present perfect 'haven't had' to indicate experience up to now, and 'trip' or 'journey' preferrably 'trip'. Suggestion: use 'I haven't traveled abroad' or 'I haven't had a trip abroad.'

× Uh, I think uh, the views in my country is very beautiful, especially in uh, some city from South, northwest.

✓ Uh, I think the views in my country are very beautiful, especially in some cities in the south and northwest.

'the views ... is' wrong subject-verb agreement—use 'are'. 'some city from South, northwest' is incorrect phrasing; use 'some cities in the south and northwest.' Suggestion: use plural 'cities' and preposition 'in' plus lowercase compass directions.