Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (where and why), and finish with a brief conclusion. Avoid repetition (e.g., "so" and "I would") and filler sounds. Use linking words like "also" or "because" to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I often post travel and social photos on my Instagram, especially landscapes and candid shots of friends, because photos help me preserve memories. Also, when I travel I take many pictures to capture new places and cultures.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then provide 1–2 clear reasons with examples. Reduce fillers ("umm", "like") and avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words such as "because" and "however" to contrast preferences.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the vibrant city atmosphere and interesting architecture. However, I also photograph the countryside when I visit, because rural landscapes offer peaceful scenery and different colors that I don't see in the city.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of preference, then give one or two concise reasons with a specific example. Remove hesitations and duplicated phrases ("I would I would"). Use linking words like "because" and "for example" to organize your answer logically.

例: I prefer views in other countries because seeing new places feels more exciting after living in Thailand. For example, although Bangkok has beautiful scenes, they become familiar to me, so I enjoy photographing unusual landscapes when I travel abroad.

× So I like to take pictures and post them on Instagram.

✓ So I like taking pictures and posting them on Instagram.

Using 'like' with activities can be followed by either the infinitive or the -ing form. However, when describing habitual hobbies, the -ing form sounds more natural and consistent: 'like taking' and 'posting' emphasize general preference and ongoing habit.

× So I have an Instagram page where I just take pictures of myself, my friends.

✓ I have an Instagram page where I post pictures of myself and my friends.

The original sentence is understandable but awkward: 'just take pictures of myself, my friends' lacks parallel structure and a clear verb for what is done with the pictures. Changing to 'post pictures of myself and my friends' uses a clear verb and corrects the list structure by adding 'and'.

× And when I go travel I would also take pictures, lots of them.

✓ And when I travel I also take lots of pictures.

Use 'travel' without 'go' or use 'go traveling'. The original mixes 'go travel' which is nonstandard. Also use simple present 'take' to indicate habitual action; move 'lots of them' to 'lots of pictures' for clarity.

× I actually like urban areas more 'cause umm, I'm an urban person, umm, myself.

✓ I actually prefer urban areas because I'm an urban person myself.

Remove filler 'umm' and use 'prefer' for clarity. The original has redundant pronoun 'myself' after 'I'm an urban person'; keeping 'myself' is acceptable but should come without extra commas and after 'person'. Rewording improves naturalness and grammar.

× And I would say when I go, like when I visit, umm, countryside, I would always take a picture as well, just for fun.

✓ And I'd say when I visit the countryside, I always take pictures too just for fun.

Use 'visit the countryside' (include 'the'). Use contraction 'I'd' and simple present 'always take' or present simple for habitual action. 'Take a picture' singular is odd when talking generally; 'take pictures' is better. Remove fillers for clarity.

× Personally I prefer views from other countries because I live in Thailand and the views, I mean Thailand is beautiful, Bangkok is perfect, but the views actually get boring over time because I see them every day.

✓ Personally, I prefer views in other countries because I live in Thailand. Thailand is beautiful and Bangkok is great, but the views do get boring over time because I see them every day.

Use 'views in other countries' rather than 'views from other countries'. Break the long sentence into two for clarity and punctuation. Replace 'perfect' with 'great' (stylistic) and use 'do get' for emphasis. These changes improve preposition use and sentence structure.

× So when I visit a country abroad I would I would love to take pictures.

✓ So when I visit a country abroad, I would love to take pictures.

The original repeats 'I would' twice; remove the duplication. Also add a comma after the clause for readability. The verb form 'would love' is correct for a conditional/desire, so only duplication and punctuation needed.