Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers (umm, uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and one brief example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and use a wider range of vocabulary (e.g., capture, scenery, preserve).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because I like to capture special moments and scenery. For example, when I visit parks or historic sites I often photograph the landscape to preserve the memory.

提案: Give a direct preference in the first sentence, then support it with a clear specific reason and one short example. Correct simple grammar (e.g., 'I click the photos' → 'I take photos') and use linking words (however, because).

例: I prefer rural views because they are more peaceful and often offer stunning sunsets. For example, when I visit the countryside I can photograph open fields and colorful skies without the distraction of city buildings.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference. Reduce repetition and fillers, and provide two specific examples (e.g., beaches, mountains) with a brief explanation why they appeal to you. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'also' to organize ideas.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has a wide variety of landscapes. For example, I can enjoy sunsets on beautiful beaches and later visit nearby mountains or hill stations, which gives me many photographic opportunities.

× Yes I do, whenever I go outside or I like umm any view umm at that time I click the pictures because I love creating memories.

✓ Yes I do. Whenever I go outside or I see a view I like, I take pictures because I love creating memories.

Original sentence uses informal fillers and the verb 'click' which is nonstandard in this context; native speakers use 'take pictures'. Also the clause structure was run-on and unclear. Use simple present 'see' and 'take' to match habitual action and divide into two clearer sentences. Remove fillers (umm) and reorder for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:10

× It always depends on a situation. If I am in an urban area, at that time I am click the photos over there.

✓ It always depends on the situation. If I am in an urban area, I take photos there.

Use 'depends on the situation' instead of 'a situation' for natural English. 'I am click the photos' is incorrect: progressive 'am' cannot combine with base verb 'click'; use simple present 'take' for habitual actions. Remove unnecessary phrases 'at that time' and 'over there' for concision. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Otherwise, rural area is also a great option.

✓ Otherwise, rural areas are also a great option.

Subject-verb agreement and article/number: 'rural area' refers generally so plural 'rural areas' fits with 'are'. Alternatively, use 'a rural area is also a great option.' Here changing to plural matches context. Grammar problem type ID:6

× But I like rural areas because I think that those are very beautiful and we can see the sunset over there.

✓ But I like rural areas because I think they are very beautiful and we can see the sunset there.

Replace 'those are' with 'they are' for natural pronoun use. 'Over there' is redundant when 'there' suffices. Keep tense consistent and concise. Grammar problem type ID:12

× I like the views in my country because my country is very beautiful and umm, there are lots of beautiful places where we can umm, see the sunset, it's a beach or umm, many more and uh, apart from that, umm, the mountains or the hill stations.

✓ I like the views in my country because it is very beautiful and has many places where we can see the sunset, such as beaches, mountains, and hill stations.

Original is run-on with repetitions and fillers. Combine ideas into a single clear sentence: use 'it' instead of repeating 'my country', use 'has many places' instead of 'there are lots of beautiful places where we can see the sunset, it's a beach or many more'. List examples with 'such as' and parallel nouns. Remove fillers for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I like to watch these kinds of places as well. So they're all are available in my country.

✓ I also like visiting these kinds of places, and they are all available in my country.

'Watch these kinds of places' is awkward; use 'visit' or 'see'. The phrase 'they're all are' duplicates the verb; use 'they are' or the contraction 'they're'. Ensure subject 'they' clearly refers to the previously mentioned places. Grammar problem type ID:12