Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use accurate vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Correct word choice (e.g. “photophile” or “photography enthusiast”) and removing filler words will make your answer more natural.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph museum interiors because I enjoy capturing architecture and exhibits, and I also take landscape photos when I travel, which helps me remember special places.

提案: Give a clear preference or explain why you like both using linking words. Use plural/singular correctly and provide one specific example for each. Use connectors like “however” or “on the other hand” to make contrast clear.

例: I like both urban and rural views. For instance, in rural areas I enjoy the quiet countryside and local traditions, whereas in urban areas I appreciate modern architecture and easy access to services.

提案: Organize your response: state a clear position, then contrast with reasons using linking words like “although” or “however.” Avoid repetitions and filler words. Provide one specific example of something you like at home and one from abroad.

例: Although I love the familiar scenery in my own country because it reminds me of my childhood, I also enjoy visiting other countries because they offer new sights and cultures that I haven't seen before.

× I love to take pictures of different museum photopholic person.

✓ I love to take pictures at different museums because I am a photography enthusiast.

The original uses 'photopholic person' which is not a correct adjective or noun. Replace with 'photography enthusiast' or 'photophile' and adjust preposition: 'at different museums' fits better than 'of different museum'. Use correct word forms and noun phrases. Suggestion: learn common noun phrases for people who enjoy hobbies (e.g., 'photography enthusiast').

× Even I love to take my photos everywhere where I like to oh, enjoy the view and enjoy the scenery and everything.

✓ I also love to take photos everywhere I go to enjoy the view and the scenery.

The sentence is wordy and has awkward repetition and filler words ('oh', 'everything'). Condense to clear subject-verb-object order: 'I also love to take photos everywhere I go' and use 'enjoy the view and the scenery' for parallel nouns. Remove unnecessary fillers. Suggestion: avoid fillers and repeated verbs; use concise clauses like 'everywhere I go'.

× Basically in a rural areas we can enjoy their locality, even we can ask them about their tradition and cultures and in urban areas we can enjoy the development and we can take advantage of their services.

✓ Basically in rural areas we can enjoy local life; we can ask people about their traditions and culture. In urban areas we can enjoy development and take advantage of services.

'a rural areas' mixes indefinite article with plural noun — use either 'a rural area' or 'rural areas' without 'a'. 'their locality' and 'their tradition and cultures' use incorrect possessive pronoun and pluralization; use 'local life', 'people', 'traditions' and 'culture' (culture can be uncountable). Also split run-on sentence for clarity. Suggestion: choose correct article for count/noncount nouns and match plural/singular forms; replace vague 'their' with 'people'.

× I prefer both views.

✓ I prefer both kinds of views.

The pronoun 'both' needs a clear plural noun it refers to; 'views' is acceptable but adding 'kinds of' clarifies the contrast between urban and rural views. Without context it is slightly ambiguous. Suggestion: add a noun after 'both' when referring to two categories: 'both kinds of views' or 'both types'.

× I according to me, I love to enjoy the view of everything.

✓ According to me, I love to enjoy every view.

'I according to me' is redundant and incorrect word order. Use 'According to me' or simply 'I' but not both. 'the view of everything' is unnatural; 'every view' or 'all views' is clearer. Suggestion: avoid redundant subjects and fix word order: start with 'According to me' if emphasizing opinion.

× Uh, even in my country. It obviously I would love my country and there are so many things that I can enjoy, even I enjoyed from my childhood, but when I go somewhere else, that's that thing is a new for me.

✓ Even in my country I love it; there are many things I have enjoyed since my childhood. When I go somewhere else, everything is new to me, so I like to see new things.

Original contains sentence fragments ('Uh, even in my country.'), incorrect word order ('It obviously I would love my country'), wrong tense ('I enjoyed from my childhood') and ungrammatical phrase 'that's that thing is a new for me.' Revise to complete sentences, correct tense (present perfect 'have enjoyed since my childhood') and natural phrasing ('everything is new to me'). Suggestion: combine fragments into coherent sentences, use present perfect for experiences continuing from past to present, and avoid redundant phrasing.