Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Shorten and organize your response. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Focus on concrete examples (what you photograph, why) and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because photography has been my hobby since childhood. For example, I often photograph birds at sunrise and landscapes near my village to capture natural light and color. I enjoy experimenting with different angles and close-ups to make ordinary scenes more interesting.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then explain with specific comparisons and one concrete example. Use linking words like 'because', 'whereas', and 'for example' properly, and avoid filler sounds (uh). Keep to 2–3 sentences with varied vocabulary.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they offer more varied landscapes and habitats than cities. For example, rural scenes often include fields, rivers and wildlife, whereas urban areas mostly show buildings and streets, which I find less inspiring to photograph.

提案: Be specific about reasons and give a brief example or comparison. Avoid vague phrases like 'many things to explore' without examples. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'for instance' to make your point coherent, and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I am familiar with its diverse habitats and can notice subtle local details. For instance, I enjoy photographing traditional markets and nearby wetlands that reflect our culture and wildlife, which I can access more easily than foreign locations.

× Yes, I love taking pictures of different views since my childhood I'm very passionate about photography photography has been my hobby as well since my childhood I love taking pictures from different angles of people or nature or different kinds of birds and animals. I like to on the other hand, I'm.

✓ Yes, I have loved taking pictures of different views since my childhood. I am very passionate about photography; it has been my hobby. I enjoy taking pictures from different angles of people, nature, birds, and animals.

This sentence has multiple sentence structure errors (ID 26) and punctuation problems. The original runs several clauses together (run-on sentence) and mixes tenses ('love' with 'since my childhood' should use present perfect). Repeating 'since my childhood' is redundant. 'Photography photography' is a typo. 'I like to on the other hand, I'm.' is incomplete and unclear. Suggestions: break ideas into shorter sentences, use present perfect ('have loved') when describing an action continuing from the past to present with 'since', remove repetitions, fix typos, and complete fragmented clauses.

× I always prefer, view, prefer views in rural areas because in rural areas there are multiple perspectives, multiple habitats living over here.

✓ I always prefer views in rural areas because there are many different perspectives and habitats there.

This contains article and wording issues (ID 22) and awkward phrasing. 'Prefer, view, prefer views' has an erroneous insertion. 'multiple habitats living over here' is ungrammatical—habitats do not 'live'. Use 'there are many different perspectives and habitats there.' Remove unnecessary commas and redundancy ('in rural areas' repeated). Use 'many' instead of 'multiple' for natural speech.

× Whereas in urban areas where we will only find few buildings and similar structure of living, uh, compared to rural areas, uh, for instance.

✓ In contrast, urban areas typically have fewer buildings of similar design and less varied ways of living compared to rural areas.

This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) with tense and word choice issues. 'Whereas in urban areas where' is a faulty clause combination. 'We will only find few buildings' uses future 'will' incorrectly; simple present is needed for general statements. 'Few' should be 'fewer' when comparing countable items. 'Similar structure of living' is awkward; 'less varied ways of living' is clearer. Remove filler 'uh' and 'for instance.'

× I prefer views from my own country. Since my childhood, I have seen diversities of habits, habitats.

✓ I prefer views in my own country. Since my childhood, I have seen diverse habits and habitats.

This includes present tense choice and word form issues (ID 6). 'Prefer views from my own country' is acceptable but 'in my own country' is more natural. 'Diversities of habits, habitats' is awkward and pluralization/form choice is wrong; use the adjective 'diverse' with plural nouns 'habits and habitats.' Keep present perfect 'have seen' as it correctly indicates experience from past to present.

× There have been many things to explore than that of in another country.

✓ There have been more things to explore in my country than in another country.

This is a sentence structure and comparison error (ID 26). The original misorders words and uses an incorrect comparative structure 'many things to explore than that of in another country.' Correct comparative form is 'more ... than ...' and avoid 'that of.' Place the compared items clearly: 'in my country' vs 'in another country.'

× I love to capture and engage with the views in different perspectives in my own country.

✓ I love to capture views and engage with different perspectives in my own country.

This sentence has sentence structure and word choice issues (ID 26). 'Capture and engage with the views in different perspectives' is awkwardly ordered. Use parallel structure: 'capture views and engage with different perspectives.' 'Engage with different perspectives' is clearer and concise. Ensure verbs are parallel and nouns placed appropriately.