Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., remove duplicate 'and', use 'make memories last').

例: Yes — I enjoy taking photos when I travel because they help make memories last. For example, I often photograph landscapes and local people to remember the atmosphere and unique moments.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons with linking words and concise phrasing. Avoid long, run-on sentences and repetitive phrases.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I love greenery and natural landscapes. For example, rural areas have farms and animals to photograph, and I find nature calming, so I enjoy capturing peaceful scenes.

提案: Begin with a direct answer, then contrast briefly using linking words. Use correct collocations (e.g., 'travel to Switzerland', 'capture those moments') and avoid vague phrases like 'capture those movements'.

例: I enjoy scenery in my own country, but I would like to travel to Switzerland for its famous mountains, rivers and green valleys. For instance, I would photograph alpine lakes and mountain views to capture the fresh air and dramatic landscapes.

× Yes, I love taking pictures whenever I travel or as it can help us to preserve some memories and and help it to last forever.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures whenever I travel because they help us preserve memories and make them last forever.

The sentence misuses 'or' and 'as' together and repeats 'and'. 'Taking pictures' is fine but the clause should use 'because' for reason. Use plural 'they' to refer to 'pictures' and the verb 'help' without 'to' after 'help'. Also 'make them last' is clearer than 'help it to last'.

× Yes, I love taking pictures whenever I travel or as it can help us to preserve some memories and and help it to last forever.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures whenever I travel because they help us preserve memories and make them last forever.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to 'pictures' which is plural; use 'them'. Also 'they' is a better subject for the clause. Correct pronoun agreement avoids confusion.

× For example, I love taking pictures of landscapes and local people.

✓ For example, I love taking pictures of landscapes and of local people.

Adding 'of' before 'local people' clarifies parallel structure. This improves rhythm and makes both objects clearly linked to 'taking pictures of'.

× Honestly, I prefer views of rural areas as compared to urban areas because I really like greenery and nature and in rural areas you can see so many farms, animals and I really like to capture those moments because for me nature is something I can feel safe with it.

✓ Honestly, I prefer views of rural areas to those of urban areas because I really like greenery and nature. In rural areas you can see many farms and animals, and I like to capture those moments because nature makes me feel safe.

Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A as compared to B'. Also avoid run-on sentence; split into two. Remove redundant 'so' and extra 'it' after 'safe'. Use 'those of urban areas' to avoid repetition.

× Do you prefer views in your own country or in other countries?

✓ Do you prefer views in your own country or in other countries?

This question sentence is grammatically acceptable; no correction needed. 'In' correctly marks location.

× I enjoy the beautiful scenery in my own country, but I would like to travel Switzerland.

✓ I enjoy the beautiful scenery in my own country, but I would like to travel to Switzerland.

The verb phrase 'travel to' requires the preposition 'to' before a country name. Using 'would like to travel to Switzerland' is the correct future/wish structure.

× I love nature and Switzerland is mostly known for its beautiful greenery and rivers, mountains, so it would be perfect for me to travel there and capture those movements and enjoy the fresh air.

✓ I love nature, and Switzerland is well known for its beautiful greenery, rivers, and mountains, so it would be perfect for me to travel there, capture those views, and enjoy the fresh air.

Use 'well known' rather than 'mostly known'. Use commas for list items and replace 'movements' (incorrect noun) with 'views' which fits photography context. Add commas to separate clauses and items for clarity.