Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and filler words, and use linking words to improve flow. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g. “enjoy its moment” → “enjoy the moment”).

例: Yes, I do. I especially enjoy photographing natural scenes such as trees, rivers and mountains because they look peaceful and change with the seasons. For example, I have many selfies taken in scenic spots on hikes, which remind me of those moments.

提案: Give a direct answer first (urban or rural or both), then explain with one clear reason and an example. Use correct grammar and linking words (e.g. “however”, “because”, “for example”). Remove redundant phrases.

例: I prefer both urban and rural views because each offers something different. For example, cities have interesting architecture and lively streets, while rural areas offer peaceful landscapes; so I enjoy photographing both depending on my mood.

提案: Clarify your opinion and give specific, coherent reasons. Avoid hesitation and unclear vocabulary. Start with a clear statement (I prefer views in my own country) and follow with two concrete reasons (familiarity, cultural significance, easier travel) using linking words like “first” and “second”.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I know the best local spots and the scenery has cultural meaning to me. For instance, familiar landscapes make it easier to plan photo trips, and I can capture traditions and seasons that are unique to my country.

× I would like to take pictures of different views and I really like to take selfies and I have a lot of photos of myself in my gallery that are from beautiful views.

✓ I would like to take pictures of different views, and I really like taking selfies; I have a lot of photos of myself in my gallery that were taken at beautiful locations.

Use of -ing form after verbs of preference (like) is more natural: 'like taking selfies' not 'like to take selfies' (both are possible but -ing is preferred in continuous preference). Also 'that are from beautiful views' is awkward; use passive 'were taken at' or 'taken at beautiful locations' to indicate where photos were made. Add commas and split the long sentence for clarity.

× For example, whenever there are trees or rivers and mountains, I really like natural views to take pictures and enjoy its moment.

✓ For example, whenever there are trees, rivers, or mountains, I really like natural views to take pictures of and enjoy the moment.

Pronoun 'its' is incorrect because 'views' is plural; use 'the moment' or 'that moment'. Also 'take pictures' usually takes a preposition 'of' when referring to the object. Listing items requires commas.

× And you put different in some views, I really like to take picture of both views because you can see the difference.

✓ You used 'different' to describe some views; I really like to take pictures of both urban and rural views because you can see the differences.

Original sentence is awkward and lacks clarity. 'Take picture' needs plural 'pictures'. Specify the two types (urban and rural) to match the question. 'You can see the difference' should be 'the differences' when comparing two categories.

× And also if we places and landscapes has its own enjoyable and remarkable points to take and I would like to share and take both places picture.

✓ Also, places and landscapes each have their own enjoyable and remarkable points for photography, and I would like to take and share pictures of both.

Pronoun and verb agreement: 'places and landscapes has' is wrong; plural subject requires 'have'. 'Its' should be 'their' for plural. 'Both places picture' is incorrect word order and count — use 'pictures of both' or 'pictures of both places'. Rearranged phrase to natural English.

× There are different views in every country, but I prefer my own country with many reasons.

✓ There are different views in every country, but I prefer my own country for many reasons.

Preposition 'with' is incorrect in this context; use 'for many reasons' to indicate causes or motives. The rest of sentence is grammatically acceptable.

× First of all, in our country, most of us are natural, uh, on.

✓ First of all, in our country, most of the scenery is natural.

Original is unclear and ungrammatical: 'most of us are natural, on' is nonsensical. Presumably the student meant landscapes or scenery, so change subject to 'scenery' and use adjective 'natural'. Fillers like 'uh' should be omitted in corrected sentence.

× On the other hands, in many countries like uh, foreign, they are all umm, intelligence uh, or something is.

✓ On the other hand, in many foreign countries the environment and buildings are more modern or developed.

Multiple problems: use singular 'hand' in phrase 'on the other hand'. 'Foreign' used as a noun here is incorrect; use 'foreign countries'. The clause 'they are all intelligence' is meaningless; replace with clear description such as 'more modern or developed'. Remove filler words. Ensure subject-verb agreement and clarity.