Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ваш ответ понятен и показывает интерес, но есть несколько ошибок и избыточность. Постарайтесь: 1) Начинать с короткого прямого предложения (тема), 2) Удалить повторения («photos and pictures»), 3) Исправить грамматические ошибки (например, «this seems to be really enjoying and amazing» → «I find it enjoyable and amazing»), 4) Сделать дополнительный пример короче и конкретнее, используя связки (for example, such as, because) и завершать мысль. Ограничьтесь максимум 3–4 предложениями.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because it helps me remember places. For example, when I travel abroad I photograph local people, traditional costumes and museum exhibits to capture the culture. I find these photos useful for recalling memories and sharing stories with friends.

提案: Ответ хороший: вы прямо отвечаете и приводите сравнение. Улучшите связность и уберите лишние прилагательные («fascinating and amazing») — одно достаточно. Используйте связки (however, whereas) для чёткого контраста и добавьте конкретный личный пример или предпочтение. Старайтесь 2–3 предложений для ясности.

例: I prefer both urban and rural views because each offers something different. For example, urban areas have striking architecture and cityscapes, whereas rural areas offer mountains and natural scenery, so I often photograph both when I travel.

提案: Хороший контраст между родной страной и заграницей, но фразы местами неестественные («unusual nature places», «sky, lines»). Упростите формулировки и конкретизируйте, что именно вы снимаете (e.g., mountain ranges, landscapes, skylines, historic buildings). Используйте связку «however» или «but» для плавного перехода и не повторяйте слова («photos and pictures»).

例: I prefer photographing nature at home because my country has beautiful mountain ranges and unique landscapes. However, I also enjoy taking pictures abroad of skylines and impressive architecture, such as historic cathedrals or modern cityscapes.

× Yes, of course I like taking pictures of different views since this seems to be really enjoying and amazing.

✓ Yes, of course I like taking pictures of different views since this seems to be really enjoyable and amazing.

The adjective 'enjoying' is incorrect here; 'enjoying' is a present participle used for active verbs, not to describe a thing's quality. Use the adjective 'enjoyable' to describe something that gives enjoyment. Also use 'really enjoyable' to modify 'amazing' correctly. Suggestion: replace present participle with appropriate adjective (enjoyable).

× For example, when I visit any country, I try to take photos and pictures of the culture, traditions, people and the museums and historical things since it helps me to remember the place and.

✓ For example, when I visit a country, I try to take photos of the culture, traditions, people, museums and historical sites, since it helps me remember the place.

The sentence has extra words and an incomplete ending ('and.'). Use 'a country' instead of 'any country' for natural speech. 'Photos and pictures' is repetitive; use one word. 'Museums and historical things' is vague - use 'museums and historical sites.' Remove the unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me' and complete the clause. Suggestion: simplify lists, remove redundancy, and complete the final clause.

× I prefer views both in urban areas and in rural, since each has its own fascinating and amazing places and pictures.

✓ I prefer views both in urban and rural areas, since each has its own fascinating and amazing places and photo opportunities.

Use parallel structure: 'in urban and rural areas' is correct. 'In rural' is incomplete without 'areas.' Also 'places and pictures' is awkward; 'photo opportunities' is a better collocation. Suggestion: keep parallel prepositional phrases and use collocations.

× For example, in urban places there are lots of high and picturesque buildings, but in rural there are lots of mountains and nature.

✓ For example, in urban areas there are lots of tall and picturesque buildings, while in rural areas there are many mountains and natural landscapes.

Maintain plural consistency: use 'areas' after both 'urban' and 'rural.' 'High' is an adjective for people or objects but 'tall' better describes buildings. 'Nature' as a mass noun is acceptable but 'natural landscapes' is clearer. Suggestion: repeat the noun for parallelism and choose precise adjectives.

× My country is really famous for its nature and the mountains it has, so I like taking photos of its unusual nature places.

✓ My country is really famous for its nature and its mountains, so I like taking photos of its unusual natural places.

Use possessive 'its mountains' for clarity. 'Nature places' is not idiomatic; use 'natural places.' Also keep parallel possessive structure ('its nature and its mountains') or omit the second 'its.' Suggestion: use correct possession and adjective form 'natural.'

× But I would like to take also photos and pictures of the sky, lines and impressive architecture of the countries abroad.

✓ But I would also like to take photos of the sky, skylines, and impressive architecture in foreign countries.

Place 'also' before the verb phrase for natural word order: 'I would also like to take.' 'Photos and pictures' is redundant. 'Lines' is unclear; likely intended 'skylines.' Use 'in foreign countries' rather than 'of the countries abroad.' Suggestion: use idiomatic expressions and correct prepositional phrase.