Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сократите паузы и слова-паразиты, дайте чёткое вступление и добавьте одну-две конкретные детали о том, почему вам нравится снимать закат (цвета, атмосфера, освещение). Используйте связку для плавности.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing sunsets because the light at golden hour is warm and soft. For example, the sky turns vivid orange and pink, which makes ordinary scenes look dramatic and peaceful.

提案: Уберите запинки и повторения, ответьте прямо, затем приведите 1–2 конкретных причины и пример, используя связующие слова (because, for example, while). Держите ответ не более 4–5 предложений.

例: I mostly prefer urban views because cities have interesting architecture and dynamic streets. For example, tall buildings and colorful billboards create strong shapes and contrasts that I like to capture, while rural scenes can be calmer but less varied.

提案: Избавьтесь от неуверенных междометий и сформулируйте мысль чётко: скажите прямо, почему вы предпочитаете виды других стран и приведите конкретные примеры того, что нового вы хотите увидеть. Используйте связки (because, for instance, such as).

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering different cultures and landscapes. For instance, I like seeing unfamiliar architecture and street life, which gives me fresh photographic ideas and inspiration.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of sunset.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of the sunset.

The noun 'sunset' here is a specific event; English often requires the definite article 'the' before 'sunset' when talking about the phenomenon. Also the gerund 'taking' is used correctly to show a general preference, but adding 'the' makes the sentence natural.

× Uh, it's called, uh, golden hour in the evening.

✓ Uh, it's called the golden hour in the evening.

When naming a specific period like 'golden hour', English uses the definite article 'the'. Add 'the' to refer to that known period of time.

× Mostly I prefer views of urban areas, uh, because of uh, urban areas.

✓ Mostly I prefer views of urban areas, because urban areas

The repetition 'because of, urban areas' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use a clause 'because urban areas...' or 'because of urban areas...' to give a reason. Here 'prefer' correctly uses present tense to state a general preference.

× It is uh, big city, umm, L lawn, umm, beautiful buildings and rural rural areas umm, I prefer to but uh.

✓ They have big cities, lawns, and beautiful buildings, but I also like rural areas.

Original sentence lacks clear subject-verb structure and contains repetitions and filler words. Recast into clear sentences with proper subjects ('they' or 'urban areas') and verbs ('have', 'like'). Use 'but' to contrast preferences. Remove fillers and duplicate words.

× Umm, actually I prefer umm views of another country because I used to see in my country's view and I want to some something new, something beautiful and umm, an ordinary.

✓ Actually, I prefer views from other countries because I have already seen the views in my country and I want something new, something beautiful and unusual.

Several problems: 'views of another country' is better as 'views from other countries'; 'I used to see in my country's view' is incorrect—use present perfect 'I have already seen the views in my country' to express past experience relevant now; 'I want to some something' is ungrammatical—use 'I want something new'; 'an ordinary' is incorrect choice—use 'unusual' or 'extraordinary'. Adjust tenses and word choice for clarity.