Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: You answered directly and showed enthusiasm, but the response has grammar errors, repetition, and awkward phrasing. To improve: (1) Use a clear topic sentence and limit length to 2–4 sentences. (2) Avoid repetition (e.g., 'capture capture') and incorrect plurals/apostrophes. (3) Use consistent verb forms and specific details (what 'cinematic mode' means or an example of a memorable shot). (4) Add one linking phrase if giving extra detail (e.g., 'For example,' or 'Also,').

例: Yes, I love photography, especially portraits and cinematic-style shots. For example, I often photograph my friends to capture their expressions and I also enjoy taking nature photos with dramatic lighting.

提案: The answer attempts to compare but is unclear and contains many repetitions and grammar mistakes. To improve: (1) Start with a clear preference statement. (2) Use a linking word to contrast (e.g., 'however' or 'but'). (3) Provide a specific reason with proper grammar and concise wording. (4) Avoid duplicated words and fix verb forms (e.g., 'to capture').

例: I enjoy both urban and rural views, but I prefer rural areas because the natural landscapes and open spaces make it easier to capture striking photos.

提案: Good content—you gave reasons—but the answer has grammar issues and some awkward phrasing. To improve: (1) Use a clear topic sentence stating your preference. (2) Use plural/singular correctly (e.g., 'views', 'types'). (3) Combine closely related ideas into one or two coherent sentences using linking words like 'and' or 'also'. (4) Add a brief specific example (a particular tradition or mountain) to make it more vivid.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it offers a variety of traditional and cultural scenes, and my hometown has many mountains. For example, I often photograph local festivals and mountain landscapes that show our traditions and natural beauty.

× I often take a photos like portraits and in cinematic mode.

✓ I often take photos, such as portraits, and shoot in cinematic mode.

The phrase 'take a photos' mixes singular article with plural noun and is incorrect (article/number issue) and 'like portraits' is better expressed as 'such as portraits'. Also 'in cinematic mode' relates to 'shoot' (verb) rather than 'take' for clarity. Use plural 'photos' without 'a'. Combine with punctuation for clarity.

× But I like to capture capture a photo of my friends and nature's with expressions.

✓ But I like to capture photos of my friends and nature with expressions.

The sentence has a duplicated word 'capture' and uses the possessive 'nature's' incorrectly; use the noun 'nature'. Also 'a photo' conflicts with plural 'friends' and 'expressions', so use plural 'photos'. Remove extra 'a' to match plurality and use correct noun form.

× My preferred views in both both ways, but I like to say that rural areas very beautiful views because the the nature is very beautiful to capturing the photos.

✓ I prefer both urban and rural views, but I would say that rural areas have very beautiful scenery because nature is very beautiful for capturing photos.

'My preferred views in both both ways' is ungrammatical and repetitive; use 'I prefer both urban and rural views'. The clause 'rural areas very beautiful views' lacks a verb; use 'have very beautiful scenery'. 'The the' is duplicated. 'Nature is very beautiful to capturing the photos' incorrectly uses 'to capturing' — use 'for capturing photos' or 'to capture photos'. Adjust verb forms and word choice for clarity.

× I prefer view in my country because there are various type of traditional and cultural views and there are a lot of mountains in my hometown.

✓ I prefer views in my country because there are various types of traditional and cultural scenes, and there are a lot of mountains in my hometown.

Use plural 'views' and 'types' to match 'various'. 'View' as singular is incorrect here. 'Traditional and cultural views' is awkward; 'traditional and cultural scenes' or 'sites' is better. Ensure noun number agreement and parallel structure.

× So I like to photograph and I like enjoy nature.

✓ So I like to photograph and enjoy nature.

The phrase 'I like to photograph and I like enjoy nature' incorrectly repeats 'I like' and uses 'like enjoy' without 'to' or gerund. Use parallel verbs: 'like to photograph and enjoy nature' or 'like photographing and enjoying nature'. This corrects verb form and parallel structure.