Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct some grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repeating "I used to" and remove unclear phrases like "please into my eye." Also vary vocabulary (e.g., "scenery" -> "landscapes").

例: Yes, I love photographing different views. When I was a child I carried a Polaroid camera everywhere and captured landscapes like rivers, the sea and mountains. Those photos helped me remember places and sparked my interest in photography.

提案: Structure the answer with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to show contrast. Be slightly more concise and natural (e.g., "buy things" instead of "purchase my items"). Provide one brief reason for each preference with a linking phrase such as "however" or "on the other hand."

例: I prefer urban views in daily life because I enjoy meeting people and shopping in person. However, on holiday I like rural areas for peace and to recharge away from the city.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then explain clearly with a specific reason or brief example. Avoid idioms without clarification and reduce repetition. Use linking words like "because" and provide one concrete example of what you find appealing abroad.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering different cultures and landscapes. For example, I like visiting coastal towns abroad because their architecture and local food are very different from what I see at home.

× I do love taking pictures of different things.

✓ I do love taking pictures of different things.

No correction needed; sentence uses 'do love' for emphasis and 'taking' correctly as a gerund after 'love'. Note: this is listed only if sentence matched a listed type; here it's correct so left unchanged.

× I used to have a Polaroid photo machine when I was a kid and I used to carry it around with me all the time and I used to take the pictures of the scenery, the rivers, the sea, the mountains, whatever I can see please into my eye.

✓ I used to have a Polaroid camera when I was a kid, and I used to carry it with me all the time and take pictures of the scenery: the rivers, the sea, the mountains, whatever I could see through my eye.

Multiple tense and word choice issues. 'Polaroid photo machine' is awkward; 'Polaroid camera' is natural. Repeated 'used to' is acceptable but can be streamlined. 'Take the pictures' -> 'take pictures' (article removal). 'Whatever I can see please into my eye' contains present tense 'can' inconsistent with past habitual 'used to' and contains nonstandard phrasing 'please into my eye' -> 'could see' and 'through my eye' or simply 'that I could see'. Suggest using past tense 'could' to match 'used to' and clearer phrasing.

× In terms of daily life, I would prefer the urban areas because I would like to see the people, I would like to talk to them in person and I would like to purchase my items by interacting with people.

✓ In terms of daily life, I would prefer urban areas because I would like to see people, talk to them in person, and buy my items by interacting with people.

Article use: 'the urban areas' and 'the people' are unnecessarily specific; use 'urban areas' and 'people' for general preference. Also streamline repeated 'I would like to' and change 'purchase my items' to more natural 'buy my items'. Comma usage adjusted for readability.

× And I would prefer the rural areas if I am on a holiday, to take some time for myself.

✓ I would prefer rural areas when I'm on holiday to take some time for myself.

Article: 'the rural areas' -> 'rural areas' for general statement. Tense/frequency: 'if I am on a holiday' -> 'when I'm on holiday' or 'when I am on holiday' is more natural. Removed leading 'And' and unnecessary comma. Contraction 'I'm' matches spoken style but optional.

× I prefer the views in other countries, you know the grass is greener on the other side.

✓ I prefer the views in other countries; you know, the grass is greener on the other side.

Minor punctuation and article: keep 'the grass is greener on the other side' as idiom. 'I prefer the views in other countries' is fine; semicolon and comma improve clarity. No tense change needed.

× So we tend to take our country for granted.

✓ We tend to take our own country for granted.

Add 'own' to clarify meaning and improve style: 'take our country for granted' is acceptable but 'our own country' emphasizes contrast with other countries. Sentence structure otherwise correct.

× So we always look for something new, something different.

✓ So we always look for something new and different.

Combine coordinated adjectives with 'and' for conciseness. Original is permissible in spoken English but combining improves grammatical style.