Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, fix articles and verb forms, and give one specific example. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because photos capture important moments. For example, I often take pictures of sunsets at the beach, which help me remember the colors and atmosphere even years later.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and expand with a specific reason and brief example. Reduce hesitations and use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to make the response coherent.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I grew up in the city and find open landscapes more relaxing. For instance, I enjoy photographing rolling hills and farms, which feel peaceful compared with crowded urban streets.

提案: Correct vocabulary mistakes and answer directly. Replace wrong words ('beers') and avoid rambling. Give a clear reason and a concrete example of how foreign scenery broadened your perspective.

例: I prefer views in other countries because unfamiliar scenery broadens my perspective. For example, visiting Kyoto's temples reminded me how different architecture and daily life can influence my appreciation of culture and history.

× Yes, I like taking pictures from from various various views because it captures a important moment and I like to look back the pictures and re remembering their memories.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of various views because they capture important moments and I like to look back at the pictures and remember the memories.

This sentence contains repeated words ('from from', 'various various'), incorrect preposition ('taking pictures from' should be 'taking pictures of'), article error ('a important' should be 'important' or 'an important'), incorrect subject-verb agreement/pronoun reference ('it captures' should be 'they capture' to match plural 'pictures'), incorrect verb form/extra word ('re remembering' should be 'remember'), and missing preposition ('look back the pictures' should be 'look back at the pictures'). Suggestion: remove duplicates, use 'pictures of' for the object photographed, match plural subjects with plural verbs, use correct articles ('an' before vowel sound) or drop if plural, and use correct verb forms and prepositions.

× UMM, I personally prefer the views from umm rural areas because I mainly grew up in urban areas, so for me, uh landscape for the rural areas is special.

✓ Umm, I personally prefer views of rural areas because I mainly grew up in urban areas, so for me, rural landscapes are special.

Problems include unnecessary article 'the' before 'views' and 'rural areas' ('views of rural areas' is natural), awkward phrasing 'the landscape for the rural areas' and article misuse. Also subject-verb agreement: 'landscapes are special' matches plural. Suggestion: simplify to 'views of rural areas' and use plural noun 'landscapes' with the plural verb 'are'.

× Umm, I prefer beers from other countries because seeing unfamiliar scenery will expand or broaden my perspective and think umm familiar people and cultures is really fun for me.

✓ Umm, I prefer views from other countries because seeing unfamiliar scenery broadens my perspective, and experiencing unfamiliar people and cultures is really fun for me.

'Beers' is an incorrect word choice for 'views'; use 'views' or 'scenery'. 'Will expand or broaden' is awkward—use one verb and match tense; present simple 'broadens' fits habitual preference. 'Think umm familiar people and cultures is really fun' is ungrammatical: 'experiencing unfamiliar people and cultures is really fun for me' or 'I think meeting unfamiliar people and learning about new cultures is fun.' Also subject-verb agreement: 'experiencing... is' is correct. Suggestion: choose correct noun ('views'), use concise verb ('broadens'), and clarify the second clause with a gerund or full clause.