Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and concise: start with a direct topic sentence, correct factual/word errors, avoid repetition, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep within 3–4 sentences. Also fix vocabulary errors (e.g., "shopping" → remove, "take the take pictures" → "taking pictures", "a bit of health" → unclear — use "difficult" or "hard").

例: To be honest, I'm not really into photography. I usually prefer to enjoy the moment rather than taking lots of photos. Also, I don't have a good camera, so I find it difficult to capture high-quality images. Therefore I rarely try to photograph views.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence then add specific supporting details with linking words. Correct small errors and avoid repetition ("sunset of sunset"). Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "tranquil," "countryside," "landscape") and limit to 3–4 sentences for clarity.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I love natural landscapes such as mountains, rivers and fields. Moreover, the countryside is much more peaceful and relaxing, so I feel refreshed when I walk or take photos there. For example, watching a sunset over a river helps me unwind after a busy week.

提案: Start with a direct statement then give two specific reasons with linking words. Fix grammar and word choice errors ("beautifully place" → "beautiful places", "mind remind me" → "often remind me"). Add one brief example to strengthen your answer and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I feel more connected to the scenery here. Additionally, there are many beautiful places I haven't explored yet, and local landscapes often remind me of childhood family trips. For example, visiting a nearby lakeside always brings back warm memories and is easy to reach.

× To be honest I'm not really into photography, I usually prefer to just enjoy the moment rather than shopping to take the take pictures.

✓ To be honest I'm not really into photography; I usually prefer to just enjoy the moment rather than stop to take pictures.

The phrase 'shopping to take the take pictures' is ungrammatical and appears to confuse words. 'Stop to take pictures' is the correct verb phrase: 'stop' followed by the infinitive 'to take'. Also remove the duplicate 'take'. Use a semicolon or period to separate the two independent clauses for clarity.

× Plus I don't have a very good camera or phone so I find it a bit of health to try and capture nice photo.

✓ Plus I don't have a very good camera or phone, so I find it a bit hard to try and capture nice photos.

The word 'health' is incorrect here; the intended adjective is 'hard' meaning difficult. 'Nice photo' should be plural 'nice photos' to match general reference. Also add a comma before 'so' joining the two clauses.

× Personally, I prefer the views in rural areas, I love nature scenery like mountains, rivers and fields.

✓ Personally, I prefer the views in rural areas. I love natural scenery like mountains, rivers, and fields.

Use 'natural scenery' rather than 'nature scenery' (incorrect adjective form). The original has a comma splice; separate into two sentences or use a semicolon. Add a comma before the final item in the list for clarity.

× It's much more peaceful and relaxing and I always feel refreshed when I take photos and sunset of sunset or just enjoy the fresh air in the countryside.

✓ It's much more peaceful and relaxing, and I always feel refreshed when I take photos of a sunset or just enjoy the fresh air in the countryside.

The phrase 'take photos and sunset of sunset' is garbled. Correct structure is 'take photos of a sunset' or 'take photos at sunset'. Add a comma before 'and' joining independent clauses. Remove the repeated 'sunset'.

× Personally I prefer the views in my own country because I feel more connected to the scenery here.

✓ Personally, I prefer the views in my own country because I feel more connected to the scenery here.

Add a comma after 'Personally' for natural pause in spoken English; otherwise the sentence is grammatically correct. Adjustment is stylistic rather than structural.

× There are so many beautifully place I haven't explored yet and local views often mind remind me of my childhood and my family trips.

✓ There are so many beautiful places I haven't explored yet, and local views often remind me of my childhood and our family trips.

'Beautifully' is an adverb but 'place' needs the adjective 'beautiful' and plural 'places'. 'Mind remind' is incorrect; use 'often remind'. 'My family trips' can be 'our family trips' for natural phrasing; add a comma before 'and'.

× Plus it's much easier.

✓ Plus, it's much easier.

Add a comma after 'Plus' to reflect natural spoken pause. The sentence is short but otherwise correct; the change improves fluency.