Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms and articles, and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, during my breaks I often travel to nearby cities and photograph landmarks and streetscapes, because the pictures help me remember the beauty of those places.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and support it with one clear reason and a specific example. Use correct tense and avoid repetition of phrases. Use a linking word (e.g., because, however) to connect reason and example.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I live in the city and find urban scenery repetitive. For instance, I enjoy countryside walks where I can see fields and hills, which feel more peaceful than busy streets.

提案: Answer directly and avoid filler sounds. State your position clearly and give specific contrasts or examples to explain why you like both. Use linking words like 'however' or 'for example' to make your reasoning coherent.

例: I don't have a strong preference because I enjoy views in both my country and abroad. For example, I love local coastal landscapes for their familiarity, but I also appreciate foreign cities for their different architecture and culture.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views because when I add my break time I like to go to travel into different cities and at that time I'd like to take photos of every views I see because that's a good memory way of that beautiful view.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because during my break time I like to travel to different cities, and at that time I take photos of every view I see because it's a good way to remember that beautiful view.

Errors: unnecessary 'do' with like (unnecessary emphasis), incorrect phrase 'add my break time' and 'go to travel into', wrong plural 'every views', awkward noun phrase 'good memory way of that beautiful view'. Grammar problem type 8 (Verb + -ing form) applies to 'go to travel' where the correct structure is 'travel' or 'go to' without -ing; also 'taking pictures' is acceptable but the sentence contained mixed gerund/infinitive errors. Suggestions: use 'during my break time', use 'travel to', use singular 'every view' or 'all the views', and rephrase 'good way to remember'.

× As my own point of view, I prefer views in rural areas because I live in the city and I think I was already tired of the views in the city, so when I get to the rural areas I like the the views there more.

✓ From my point of view, I prefer views in rural areas because I live in the city and I am already tired of the views there, so when I go to rural areas I like the views there more.

Errors: incorrect past tense 'I think I was already tired' conflicts with present situation; repetition 'the the'. The issue fits Past tense problem (5) because 'was' should be present 'am' to match 'I live in the city'. Suggestions: use 'From my point of view', use present tense 'am already tired', and use 'go to' rather than 'get to'.

× MMM. As my point of view, I don't think that a preference question because I like both the views in in my country and in other countries, because I think there are both different views in such areas and I'd like to go there.

✓ Hmm. From my point of view, I don't think I have a preference because I like the views in my country and in other countries; they offer different kinds of scenery and I'd like to visit both.

Errors: missing verb in 'I don't think that a preference question' (sentence structure error, type 26), repetition 'in in', awkward phrasing 'there are both different views in such areas'. Suggestions: say 'I don't think I have a preference', remove duplicate 'in', use clearer phrasing 'they offer different kinds of scenery' and 'visit both'.