Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), correct word choice, and add one concrete detail. Use linking words to make it coherent. Aim for 2–3 sentences, correct grammar (e.g., "especially" not "specially"), and clearer expressions for your purpose (e.g., "to remember moments").

例: I love taking photos of natural views, especially mountains, because they help me relax and clear my mind. When I visit such places, I usually take pictures to remember the trip and to share the memories with my friends and family.

提案: Give a direct answer, correct grammar and avoid repeating similar words. Use linking words to explain reasons and provide a specific example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and use appropriate collocations (e.g., "peaceful environment", "fresh air").

例: I prefer urban views because cityscapes are more visually interesting and vibrant. For example, I enjoy the contrast of modern architecture and busy streets, and I find walking along riverside promenades in the city both refreshing and peaceful.

提案: Answer directly ("my own country"), fix vocabulary and grammar errors, and give a specific reason and example. Avoid vague phrases like "bus" and "special moment"; instead say "my own country" and mention occasions (weekends, holidays). Use linking words to connect ideas and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has many beautiful mountains and natural sites that attract tourists. For example, I often visit nearby mountain parks on weekends to hike and take photographs of the scenery to show visitors what our country offers.

× Yes, I really love to take a picture of a different view, specially, uh, nature and a mountain scenario, which really helped me to rephrase my mind and relax my body.

✓ Yes, I really love taking pictures of different views, especially nature and mountain scenes, which really help me to refresh my mind and relax my body.

The student used 'love to take' which is acceptable but 'love taking' is more natural here (Verb + -ing). 'a picture of a different view' should be plural to match general preference (pluralization relates to problem type 1 but focus here is on -ing). 'specially' is incorrect adverb choice; use 'especially'. 'mountain scenario' is unnatural; 'mountain scenes' is better. 'helped' is past tense but the context is general present; change to 'help' (Present tense consistency). Suggestions: use 'love taking', pluralize 'pictures' and 'views', use 'especially', and keep present tense 'help'.

× Whenever I go outside, uh, I take the picture and for the memories for the long term relationship.

✓ Whenever I go outside, I take pictures to remember the long-term moments.

The sentence incorrectly uses singular 'the picture' when referring to a habitual action; plural 'pictures' is needed. 'for the memories for the long term relationship' is unclear and unidiomatic. Likely intended meaning is 'to remember long-term occasions' or 'to keep memories of important times.' Also 'long-term' needs a hyphen when used as a compound adjective. Suggestion: use 'take pictures to remember important moments' or similar clearer phrasing.

× I prefer uh urban areas because like most of the place are very eye-catching and refreshing.

✓ I prefer urban areas because most places are very eye-catching and refreshing.

'most of the place' is incorrect; 'places' plural is required. Remove filler 'uh' and redundant 'like'. Suggestion: say 'most places are' to match plural noun and verb agreement.

× In that area we usually get refreshed, fresh air and peace environment.

✓ In those areas we usually get fresh air and a peaceful environment, which is refreshing.

The original mixes adjective and verb forms awkwardly: 'get refreshed, fresh air and peace environment' is ungrammatical. Use 'get fresh air' and 'a peaceful environment' (adjective 'peaceful') and optionally 'which is refreshing' to express effect. Also plural 'areas' matches previous sentence. Suggestion: restructure to 'we usually get fresh air and a peaceful environment'.

× I prefer bus in my own country because we have lots of mountains, natural beauties that really helps to impress our tourist destinations and the people from the foreign country.

✓ I prefer buses in my own country because we have many mountains and natural beauties that really help attract tourists from other countries.

'I prefer bus' is incorrect; must be plural 'buses' or 'the bus' depending on meaning — likely 'buses' (general). 'lots of' is informal; 'many' is better. 'natural beauties that really helps' has subject-verb agreement error: 'beauties' (plural) needs 'help' not 'helps' (this is subject-verb agreement but tied to pronoun/number). 'impress our tourist destinations' is incorrect: attractions 'attract' or 'impress tourists' and 'the people from the foreign country' should be 'people from other countries' or 'foreign visitors'. Suggestion: use 'buses' or rephrase 'I prefer to travel by bus', and 'help attract tourists from other countries'.

× And I usually go there for in the special moment or the weekends and take the picture of the mountains and other place.

✓ I usually go there on special occasions or at weekends and take pictures of the mountains and other places.

'for in the special moment' mixes prepositions incorrectly; use 'on special occasions' or 'at special moments'. Use 'at weekends' or 'on weekends' (varies by dialect); 'at weekends' is British, 'on weekends' American. 'take the picture' should be plural 'take pictures' and 'other place' should be plural 'other places'. Suggestion: use 'on special occasions or on weekends' and pluralize nouns.