Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition; start with a clear topic sentence, add one specific detail using a linking word, and keep to at most four sentences. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., use 'enjoy' or 'love') and give a brief example to show depth.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I have loved photography since childhood, so I often photograph trees and flowers to capture seasonal changes. For example, last spring I took close-up shots of blooming cherry blossoms that highlighted their colors and textures.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, avoid filler words like 'umm', use linking words (e.g., 'because'/'so') and provide one specific example or reason. Limit to three sentences and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'vast fields', 'pastoral scenes').

例: I prefer rural views because they showcase natural, pastoral scenes. For example, I like photographing vast fields and grazing animals since their open spaces create a calm atmosphere. This makes the photos feel refreshing and timeless.

提案: Answer directly, use a linking word to explain, and give one specific detail to support your choice. Avoid short repetitive statements; combine ideas into one or two richer sentences and use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'scenery', 'landscapes').

例: I prefer photographing views in my own country because I haven't traveled abroad. For instance, I often capture the diverse landscapes here—from coastal cliffs to lush forests—which helps me explore different aspects of my country's scenery.

× I like photography since I was a child and I like capturing trees, flowers, animals.

✓ I have liked photography since I was a child, and I like capturing trees, flowers, and animals.

Use the present perfect 'have liked' to express an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Also add commas and 'and' before the last item in a list for correct punctuation. Suggestion: Use 'have/has + past participle' for states that began in the past and continue now, and include the Oxford comma for clarity.

× Both actually but I love umm capturing rural areas because it shows rural beauty.

✓ Both actually, but I love capturing rural areas because they show rural beauty.

The subject 'rural areas' is plural, so the verb should be plural ('show' not 'shows'). Also include a comma after 'Both actually' for natural speech punctuation. Suggestion: Match plural subjects with plural verbs and use commas to reflect pauses in speech.

× It's beautiful nature, it's environment and I enjoy capturing them.

✓ It has beautiful nature and a pleasant environment, and I enjoy capturing them.

The original uses 'it's' (it is) awkwardly with uncountable nouns; better to say 'It has' to describe qualities. Also 'environment' often takes an article when described ('a pleasant environment'). 'Them' refers to plural items but 'nature' is uncountable; here 'capturing them' can refer to features (trees, fields, animals) so rephrasing clarifies reference. Suggestion: Use 'It has' to describe characteristics and add appropriate articles for countable nouns; ensure pronouns clearly refer to plural or singular nouns.

× Of course in my country, because I have not traveled to another country ever in my life.

✓ Of course, in my country, because I have never traveled to another country in my life.

Use 'have never traveled' instead of 'have not traveled ... ever' for natural word order. Place commas to reflect pauses. 'Ever' is less natural here than 'in my life' or use 'ever' with different word order. Suggestion: Use 'have never' when talking about experiences up to now and position adverbs ('never', 'ever') correctly.

× It's beautiful nature, it's environment and I enjoy capturing them.

✓ It has beautiful nature, a pleasant environment, and I enjoy capturing them.

(Duplicate of prior article issue) 'beautiful nature' is acceptable but 'a pleasant environment' requires an article. 'It's environment' is ungrammatical; use 'its environment' if possessive is intended. Ensure correct possessive pronoun 'its' rather than 'it's' (it is). Suggestion: Distinguish between 'it's' (it is) and 'its' (possessive) and supply articles where needed.