Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), fix grammar (e.g., “It helps me to remember beautiful scenery and places”), and give one specific supporting detail about why photography relaxes you. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. It helps me remember the places I visit and the atmosphere there, and reviewing my photos is a pleasant way to relax. For example, when I hike in the mountains I take shots of the sunrise, which always calms me.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and provide specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague claims like “I know about everything.” Use 2–3 concise supporting points (e.g., fresh air, peaceful landscapes, friendly locals) and link them with words such as “because” and “for example.”

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they feel more peaceful and natural. For example, the fresh air and open fields make me feel relaxed, and the friendly local people add charm to the scenery.

提案: Use a clear, grammatical topic sentence and avoid fillers. State your preference directly, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words like “because” or “because I haven’t yet explored…”. Mention concrete examples of places or types of scenery you want to see to make the answer more specific.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I haven’t explored many regions yet. For instance, I want to visit the northern lakes and historic villages to photograph landscapes and local architecture.

× It's helps me to remain, uh, beautiful scenery and places.

✓ It helps me to remember beautiful scenery and places.

The subject-verb agreement is incorrect: 'It' takes the verb 'helps' (third person singular) so 'It's helps' is wrong. Also the verb 'remain' is not appropriate for keeping memories; use 'remember'. Suggestion: use 'It helps me to remember...' or 'It helps me remember...'.

× Photography is a relaxing hobby for me.

✓ Photography is a relaxing hobby for me.

This sentence is grammatically correct and needs no change. It is included here to acknowledge correctness; keep as is.

× I prefer in rural areas because I born there and I know about everything and in rural areas I feel more comfortable and relaxing, fresh air, friendly people, everything is beautiful.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I was born there and I know the place well. In rural areas I feel more comfortable and relaxed; the air is fresh, people are friendly, and everything is beautiful.

Multiple errors: 'prefer in rural areas' is incorrect preposition use — say 'prefer rural areas' (no preposition). 'I born there' is missing auxiliary and past participle; use past tense passive 'I was born there' (Past tense issue). 'I know about everything' is awkward; 'I know the place well' is clearer. 'Relaxing' should be 'relaxed' to describe a feeling (incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs). Also list elements with proper punctuation. Suggestions: remove unnecessary prepositions, use correct past tense 'was born', and use adjective 'relaxed' to describe feeling.

× I prefer in your own country or in other countries? -> I prepare my own country because I know about my country uh, also, I haven't uh, explore many places in my country yet, so I want to explore my umm, unseen places.

✓ I prefer my own country because I know it well. Also, I haven't explored many places in my country yet, so I want to explore the places I haven't seen.

Several errors: 'I prepare my own country' uses wrong verb; should be 'I prefer my own country' (vocabulary error but treated as sentence structure). 'I know about my country' is wordy; 'I know it well' is natural. 'I haven't uh, explore' mixes present perfect auxiliary 'have' with base form 'explore'; correct form is present perfect 'haven't explored' (Incorrect use of verb tense - past participle required). 'Unseen places' is acceptable but 'places I haven't seen' is more natural. Suggestions: use 'haven't explored' for present perfect, replace 'prepare' with 'prefer', and simplify phrases for fluency.

× Do you like taking pictures of different views? -> Absolutely, I love capturing beautiful scenery whenever I travel.

✓ Absolutely, I love capturing beautiful scenery whenever I travel.

This sentence is correct as written. 'I love capturing' correctly uses first person; no third person singular error. Included to indicate no correction needed.