Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, use correct verb forms, and add one or two specific details. Use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I especially like landscapes and cityscapes because they help me remember places I’ve visited. For example, I often take beach sunsets or historic buildings to keep as memories.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, correct grammar, avoid filler sounds, and provide specific reasons and frequency. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, so, therefore).

例: I prefer views in rural areas because there is less pollution and a more natural atmosphere. For instance, I enjoy photographing fields and forests, and I usually go on a photography trip once a month to capture seasonal changes.

提案: Answer directly and coherently. Avoid contradictory phrases like 'always, not always.' State preference or say you have no strong preference, then give specific examples of countries and what you photograph. Use complete sentences without fillers.

例: I don't have a strong preference; I enjoy photographing views both in my country and abroad. For example, when I visited the United States and Saudi Arabia, I took photos of skylines and traditional architecture to remember those trips.

× Yes, I like to taking picture picture of different kind of views for those that I can, collecting memories of different places and it is the one quite kind of memory in my head always be in lie so.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different kinds of views when I can; I collect memories of different places, and those memories always stay in my mind.

The original has incorrect use of infinitive + -ing ('to taking') and singular/plural errors ('picture picture', 'kind of views'). 'Like' is followed by the gerund 'taking', not 'to taking'. Use plural 'pictures' and 'kinds of views'. 'For those that I can' is unclear; 'when I can' fits context. 'Collecting memories' should be a coordinated clause: 'I collect memories'. 'Always be in lie so' is ungrammatical; replace with 'always stay in my mind'. Suggestions: use gerunds after 'like', ensure noun number agreement, and simplify clauses for clarity.

× I always prefer to, uh, view you in rural areas because in rural, rural areas, there are less pollution and natural atmosphere.

✓ I usually prefer views in rural areas because there is less pollution and a more natural atmosphere.

Mistakes: unnecessary 'to' after 'prefer' and 'view you' is incorrect. 'Prefer' is followed by a noun or gerund ('views' or 'to visit'); use 'views' here. Use 'there is' for uncountable noun 'pollution' and 'less' is acceptable with uncountable but phrasing 'less pollution' with singular verb 'is' is correct. 'Natural atmosphere' needs an article and comparative phrasing 'a more natural atmosphere' fits. Suggestions: remove filler words, choose correct complement after 'prefer', match verb with uncountable nouns, and include articles where needed.

× And I always go there and, uh, capturing movement in my phone.

✓ And I always go there and capture moments on my phone.

After 'go there and' we need the base verb 'capture', not the -ing form 'capturing'. 'Capturing movement' is awkward; native speakers say 'capture moments' or 'take pictures'. Use 'on my phone' rather than 'in my phone'. Suggestions: use parallel verb forms after 'and', prefer natural collocations like 'capture moments' or 'take photos' and correct preposition 'on' for devices.

× So it is my hobby and I always do once in a month.

✓ So it is my hobby and I always do it once a month.

Time expression 'once a month' is standard; 'once in a month' is incorrect. Also include object 'it' after 'do'. Suggestions: use standard time phrases ('once a month') and include pronouns to avoid sentence fragments.

× I always, not always, but sometimes, uh, I go to, uh, different countries like, uh, United States of America, uh, Saudi Arabia.

✓ I don't always, but sometimes I travel to different countries, such as the United States and Saudi Arabia.

'I always, not always, but sometimes' is contradictory and ungrammatical; 'I don't always, but sometimes' or simply 'Sometimes' is better. Use 'travel to' rather than 'go to' for visits abroad; include articles: 'the United States'. 'Such as' fits listing examples. Suggestions: avoid contradictory adverbs, use standard country names with articles where required, and choose appropriate verbs ('travel to').

× So I captured my, uh, phone of, uh, that particular country's view so I can, uh, collect the memory.

✓ So I capture photos on my phone of that country's sights so I can keep the memories.

Tense and verb form were inconsistent: 'captured' (past) conflicts with 'so I can' (present ability). Use present simple 'capture' if describing habitual action. 'Captured my phone of that country's view' is ungrammatical; instead say 'capture photos on my phone of that country's sights'. 'Collect the memory' should be 'keep the memories' or 'preserve the memories'. Suggestions: keep tense consistent for habits (present simple), use correct collocations ('capture photos', 'on my phone', 'sights'), and choose appropriate verbs for storing memories ('keep', 'preserve').