Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and add one brief specific detail. Avoid redundancy and keep within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words if adding extra detail.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I especially like photographing rainbows and rainy scenes from my window because the light and reflections create interesting colors. For example, last week I captured a rainbow that brightened the whole street.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear preference, provide specific reasons, and avoid unclear or incorrect words. Use linking words (because, although, for example). Keep sentences short and accurate, and correct vocabulary mistakes (e.g. 'rolling hills', 'peace and quiet').

例: I prefer rural views because the open landscape and natural scenes are more relaxing and refreshing. For example, walking among rolling hills after a busy week helps me relax and feel peaceful. Although urban views can be exciting because of lights and architecture, I usually choose the countryside.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, correct informal phrasing, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to make it coherent. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid unnecessary words.

例: I generally prefer views in my home country because they feel familiar and evoke personal memories. For example, the nearby mountains and lakes remind me of childhood trips, which makes those landscapes more meaningful to me.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures, especially the sky rainbows and when it's raining and you take pictures from my window.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures, especially of the sky, rainbows, and when it's raining, I take pictures from my window.

The original sentence has issues with prepositions and parallel gerund phrases. Use 'of' with 'pictures' (pictures of the sky, pictures of rainbows). Also make the structure parallel: 'especially of the sky and rainbows, and when it's raining I take pictures from my window.' This clarifies meaning and corrects the gerund/preposition usage.

× I prefer views in various areas because at I find it open landscape and the natural scenario more relaxing and refreshing.

✓ I prefer views in various areas because I find open landscapes and natural scenery more relaxing and refreshing.

The sentence contained an extraneous word 'at' and incorrect noun forms. Remove 'at'. Use plural 'landscapes' to match 'views' (plural) and 'scenery' instead of 'scenario'. This corrects tense and noun form agreement and improves clarity.

× For instance, ruling heals and feed apnea wine after a busy week.

✓ For instance, rolling hills and green plains are relaxing after a busy week.

The original sentence contains several nonwords or wrong words ('ruling heals', 'feed apnea wine') and lacks clear structure. Replace with plausible landscape examples that fit context: 'rolling hills and green plains are relaxing after a busy week.' This fixes sentence structure and word choice.

× Urban view can be existing exciting with landscape and light.

✓ An urban view can be quite exciting with its buildings and lights.

'Can be existing exciting' is incorrect; use 'can be exciting.' Also use 'an urban view' or 'urban views' and specify plural or singular consistently. 'With its buildings and lights' clarifies what makes urban views exciting. This corrects misuse of verb forms and improves noun references.

× Yeah, I generally prefer views in my home country because they are familiar and then they bring back personal memories such as childhood trip to nearby mountains and lakes.

✓ Yes, I generally prefer views in my home country because they are familiar and bring back personal memories, such as childhood trips to nearby mountains and lakes.

Change 'Yeah' to 'Yes' for formality; remove 'then' which is unnecessary. Use plural 'trips' to match 'memories' and add a comma before the example. This corrects tense/number agreement and improves sentence flow.