Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy (e.g. "mobile phone or videos" is confusing), and use one or two specific examples with linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. I usually use my phone to take photos and short videos for social platforms like TikTok, because they let me quickly capture beautiful scenery and preserve memories. For example, I often record sunsets at the riverside and share them with friends.

提案: Be direct and avoid awkward phrasing. Give one clear reason and a specific detail linking your background to the preference. Use a linking word (e.g. "because" or "since") and keep sentences concise.

例: I generally prefer rural views because I was born and raised in a village, so I appreciate natural landscapes and quiet scenes. For instance, I enjoy photographing rice terraces and small streams that remind me of home.

提案: Clarify and simplify the response: state your preference clearly (both), then give one contrasting specific example for each. Correct grammar (e.g. "it mesmerizes me"), finish your sentence, and avoid vague phrasing like "various perspective."

例: I enjoy views in both my country and abroad. In Nepal, I am mesmerized by the Himalayas and lush valleys, while when I travel abroad I like seeing different architecture and cityscapes that reflect other cultures.

× I often use my mobile phone or videos through various social platforms such as Tiktok to capture the beautiful scenery and landscape because it helps me to preserve the memory.

✓ I often use my mobile phone or video clips on social platforms such as TikTok to capture the beautiful scenery and landscape because they help me preserve memories.

Original sentence misused 'videos' with 'use' and had number agreement issues ('it helps me to preserve the memory'). Use 'video clips' or 'videos' with 'use' is acceptable if phrased clearly; here 'video clips on social platforms' is clearer. 'They help me preserve memories' uses correct plural agreement and omits unnecessary 'to' before 'preserve'. Also capitalize 'TikTok'. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× It depends but usually I love to prefer views in rural areas as I was born and raised in the village place where varieties of scenes are captured and evident.

✓ It depends, but usually I prefer views in rural areas because I was born and raised in a village where a variety of scenes are visible.

Remove redundant 'love to prefer'—'prefer' alone expresses choice. Use 'because' instead of 'as' for clear cause. 'Village place' is unnatural; 'a village' is correct. 'Varieties of scenes are captured and evident' is awkward—use 'a variety of scenes are visible' or 'there are many kinds of scenery'. This fixes preposition and word choice errors. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× I love to prefer views in both the countries which is my own and the other countries too.

✓ I prefer views in both my own country and in other countries.

'Love to prefer' is redundant; choose 'prefer' or 'love'. 'Both the countries which is my own and the other countries' is ungrammatical and has wrong relative clause agreement. Use 'both my own country and other countries'. This corrects preposition and noun phrase structure. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Whenever I'm in my own country Nepal, it mesmerize me the beautiful scenery around myself whereas in the other country I can view the various perspective of the country and.

✓ Whenever I'm in my own country, Nepal, the beautiful scenery mesmerizes me, while in other countries I can see different perspectives.

Subjects and verbs must agree: 'the beautiful scenery' (singular) requires 'mesmerizes' not 'mesmerize'. Remove reflexive 'around myself' —use 'around me'. 'Whereas in the other country I can view the various perspective of the country and.' is incomplete and awkward; change to 'while in other countries I can see different perspectives.' Also remove trailing conjunction and ensure punctuation around 'Nepal'. Grammar problem type ID: 27