Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 반복적이며 어색한 표현(예: "is boring to post", "so I can get good")이 있습니다. 응답은 주제문으로 직접 시작한 뒤 구체적인 이유와 예시를 하나 정도 덧붙여 최대 5문장 안으로 구성하세요. 연결어(therefore, because, so)를 적절히 사용해 논리성을 높이고, 불필요한 음성적 충동(umm, uh)은 줄이세요. 또한 ‘take photos of different views’와 관련된 다양한 어휘(landscape, perspective, angles, composition)를 사용해 표현을 풍부하게 하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because changing perspectives keeps photography interesting. For example, I often vary my angles and composition to capture both wide landscapes and close-up details, which makes each shot unique. Therefore I rarely take the same picture twice and prefer to explore new scenes.

提案: 대답은 이유를 제시했지만 표현이 어색하고 구체성이 부족합니다(예: 'Hyundai like dessert cafe'는 의미 불명). 활동을 설명할 때 구체적인 예와 정확한 단어(use 'escape rooms', 'dessert cafes')를 쓰고 연결어를 넣어 문장을 매끄럽게 만드세요. 또한 문장 수를 2~3문장으로 유지하고 불필요한 말버릇을 제거하세요.

例: I prefer urban views because cities offer a variety of activities and interesting places. For instance, I enjoy visiting dessert cafes, boutique shops, and escape rooms, which provide different photo opportunities and a lively atmosphere.

提案: 의도를 잘 전달했지만 문법 오류와 어색한 표현이 많습니다('I want to some exotic foreign view like a natural'는 문법상 잘못됨). 이유를 더 구체적으로 설명하고, 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요(예: 'I've lived in Korea my whole life' / 'I'm looking for more exotic or natural landscapes'). 연결어를 사용해 흐름을 매끄럽게 하고, 2문장 내로 정리하세요.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I have lived in Korea my whole life and the scenery feels familiar to me. I enjoy exploring exotic and natural landscapes abroad, such as mountains, tropical beaches, or rural countryside, to see different cultures and environments.

× Yes because taking photo with the same view is umm not exciting and there is boring to post on Instagram.

✓ Yes, because taking photos of the same view is not exciting and it is boring to post on Instagram.

Sentence has multiple issues: 'taking photo' should be plural 'taking photos' (count noun with plural) and uses wrong preposition 'with' instead of 'of' (use 'photos of the view'). 'there is boring' is incorrect structure; use 'it is boring'. Also add a comma after 'Yes' and remove filler words. Overall, use plural for repeated actions, correct preposition, and proper subject 'it' for adjectives. Suggested improvement: practice noun pluralization, use 'it is' with adjectives, and use 'photos of' when describing pictures of something.

× So I would take picture in various aspects so I can get good.

✓ So I would take pictures from various angles so I can get good shots.

Original uses singular 'picture' where plural 'pictures' is needed when talking about multiple images. 'in various aspects' is unnatural; 'from various angles' or 'in various ways' is better. 'get good' is incomplete; specify 'good shots' or 'good pictures'. Suggested improvement: use plural when referring to more than one item and use natural collocations like 'angles' and 'shots'.

× I prefer urban areas because in the city there are many activities such as umm Hyundai like dessert cafe or accessory shop and some escaping rooms.

✓ I prefer urban areas because in the city there are many activities, such as dessert cafes, accessory shops, and escape rooms.

Use 'such as' followed by noun phrases; 'Hyundai like' is unclear and likely unnecessary. Use plural 'cafes' and 'shops' for general statements. 'escaping rooms' is incorrect; the correct term is 'escape rooms'. Remove filler words. Suggested improvement: list examples with correct plural forms and established terms, and avoid adding unclear modifiers.

× So uh, this place is really diverse.

✓ So, these places are really diverse.

If referring to 'urban areas' and 'many activities', plural 'places' fits better; 'this place' could be used for a single location, but the context discusses multiple places. Ensure subject and demonstrative match number. Suggested improvement: match demonstrative pronoun to singular/plural subject ('this place' vs 'these places').

× I prefer other countries because I live my whole life in Korea, so umm and now I think Korea is not new for me.

✓ I prefer other countries because I have lived my whole life in Korea, so now Korea is not new to me.

Use present perfect 'have lived' to express life experience up to now. 'I live my whole life' is ungrammatical. Remove unnecessary 'and'. Use 'not new to me' rather than 'not new for me'. Suggested improvement: use present perfect for experiences up to now and the phrase 'not new to me'.

× So I want to some umm exotic umm foreign view like a natural.

✓ So I want to see some exotic, foreign landscapes, like natural scenery.

'want to some' is incorrect; use 'want to see some'. 'exotic foreign view' is awkward; 'exotic, foreign landscapes' or 'scenery' is better. 'like a natural' is incomplete; use 'natural scenery' or 'natural landscapes'. Suggested improvement: follow 'want to' with a verb, choose appropriate nouns ('landscapes', 'scenery'), and use commas between adjectives.