Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more specific and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and give one or two concise, connected supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., "front views" is unclear).

例: Yes, I do — I love photographing different scenes when I travel. For example, I often capture wide landscapes to show the setting, and candid shots of local people to record everyday life, because both help me remember the atmosphere.

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence: begin with a direct topic sentence, then give specific comparisons using linking words (e.g., "however", "because"). Fix vocabulary and sentence structure (e.g., "I've lived there my whole life", "I prefer city views because of the architecture and busy streets"). Avoid unclear phrases like "friendly with around views" and "borrowing at lular scenery."

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the lively atmosphere and interesting architecture. For example, living in Seoul my whole life, I often photograph crowded streets and striking buildings, whereas rural scenery feels calmer and less familiar to me.

提案: Make the response grammatically correct and concise: state your preference clearly, give specific reasons, and use linking words. Correct errors (e.g., "I prefer views in other countries because I like experiencing different cultures and atmospheres," "I've been traveling abroad since I was five").

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy experiencing different cultures and atmospheres. For example, my family and I have traveled abroad since I was five, so I like photographing unfamiliar streets and local traditions to learn about new places.

× I was born in Seoul, I've lived in there on my whole life.

✓ I was born in Seoul and I have lived there my whole life.

The original sentence misuses 'in' before 'there' and mixes tenses awkwardly. Use 'have lived' (present perfect) to indicate an action continuing up to now and remove 'in' before 'there'. Also replace the comma splice with 'and' and change 'on my whole life' to 'my whole life' for correct idiom. Suggestion: Use present perfect for life experiences that continue to the present and avoid unnecessary prepositions.

× From my perspective, I am friendly with around views.

✓ From my perspective, I am familiar with the surrounding views.

The phrase 'friendly with around views' is incorrect. Use 'familiar with' to express knowledge or comfort and 'surrounding views' to describe nearby scenery. 'Around' should be changed to 'surrounding' and 'friendly with' to 'familiar with'. Suggestion: Use collocations like 'familiar with' + noun.

× For example, there are a crowd of people delight St. and beautiful architecture.

✓ For example, there is a crowd of people on the street and beautiful architecture.

'A crowd' is singular, so the verb should be 'is' not 'are'. 'Delight St.' appears to be a mistaken phrase; likely intended 'on the street'. Adjust word order to list 'a crowd of people on the street and beautiful architecture.' Suggestion: Ensure the verb agrees with the head noun; check prepositional phrases like 'on the street'.

× On the other hand, I feel like borrowing at lular scenery.

✓ On the other hand, I feel drawn to rural scenery.

The original uses 'borrowing at lular scenery', which is incorrect. Likely intended meaning is being attracted to or preferring rural scenery. Use the phrase 'feel drawn to' or 'like' and correct 'lular' to 'rural'. Suggestion: Choose correct verbs for preferences ('feel drawn to', 'prefer', 'like') and correct spelling.

× In my opinion, I'd like to go other countries than my country because I enjoy traveling to experience other countries and moods.

✓ In my opinion, I'd like to visit other countries rather than my own because I enjoy traveling to experience different cultures and atmospheres.

Use 'visit' rather than 'go' for clarity, and 'other countries rather than my own' is the correct comparative structure. 'Moods' is unnatural for describing national differences; use 'cultures and atmospheres' or 'environments'. Suggestion: Use 'visit' + destination, and 'rather than' for comparisons; choose appropriate nouns ('cultures') for travel experiences.

× I have a lot of curious to trip and my family also, so we traveled abroad since I was five years old.

✓ I have been very curious about traveling, and so has my family, so we have traveled abroad since I was five years old.

'A lot of curious to trip' is ungrammatical. Use 'be curious about something' and 'travel' as a verb. To express an action continuing from the past to present, use present perfect 'have traveled abroad since I was five years old.' Also use parallel structure: 'I have been... and so has my family.' Suggestion: Use 'be curious about' + gerund/noun and present perfect ('have traveled') with 'since' to indicate starting point.