Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific reasons. Reduce fillers (uh) and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, because, so) to make the response coherent and keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because I like to capture memorable moments when I travel. For example, I photograph landscapes to share them with friends and to keep personal memories, so I can remember how a place felt.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give specific reasons with fewer repetitions and correct grammar (e.g., "I prefer rural areas because..."). Use linking words like "because" and "so" and limit to 2–3 supporting sentences with concrete details (what you see, how it makes you feel).

例: I prefer rural areas because they offer peaceful, green landscapes that contrast with busy city life. For instance, wide fields and quiet lanes relax me and help me recharge, so I often choose the countryside when I want to unwind.

提案: Give a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence stating your preference, then support it with specific reasons and an example. Avoid vague phrases ("very undogmatic") and reduce fillers. Use linking words such as "because", "for example", and keep answer to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy experiencing different landscapes and cultures. For example, since my country has many coastlines but few mountains, I like visiting countries with mountain scenery to see contrasting views and learn about local traditions.

× I do like to take pictures because whenever I'm traveling, I wanna capture the moment, uh, whenever I'm growing or whenever I wanna share it with people, I wanna show them the scenario view as well, uh, that I have enjoyed it and I wanna keep it as a memory.

✓ I do like to take pictures because whenever I'm traveling I want to capture the moment, whenever I'm growing, or whenever I want to share it with people, I want to show them the view as well, that I have enjoyed it and I want to keep it as a memory.

The sentence uses colloquial contractions like 'wanna' which are inappropriate for formal grammar corrections; replace with 'want to'. Also 'scenario view' is unnatural; 'view' suffices. Use consistent infinitive 'to take' and 'to share' rather than mixing forms. Ensure parallel structure when listing reasons (traveling, growing, sharing).

× I prefer rural areas is because I live in an urban area so I know how busy the days are and people are.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I live in an urban area, so I know how busy the days and people are.

The original includes an extraneous 'is' after the subject 'I prefer rural areas.' Remove 'is' to fix the subject-verb construction. Also add a comma before 'so' to separate clauses. The phrase 'how busy the days are and people are' is slightly awkward but maintains meaning; consider rephrasing to 'how busy the days and people are.'

× So the rural area gives me that green view and I like that fact that it makes my eyes soothing.

✓ The rural area gives me a green view, and I like that it soothes my eyes.

'Makes my eyes soothing' incorrectly uses an adjective where a verb is needed. Use 'soothes my eyes' (verb) to express the effect. Also 'that fact that' is redundant; simplify to 'that.' Use the article 'a green view.'

× I give get the eye soothing views and it makes me really refreshed.

✓ I get soothing views for my eyes, and they make me feel really refreshed.

'I give get' is ungrammatical (extra word 'give'); remove it. 'Eye soothing views' should be reworded to 'soothing views for my eyes' or 'views that soothe my eyes.' Match plural subject 'they' with 'views' and use 'make me feel refreshed' for natural phrasing.

× I prefer going and exploring to new countries is because, uh, new cultures, new views excites me very well.

✓ I prefer going and exploring new countries because new cultures and new views excite me a lot.

Remove extraneous 'is' after the clause. 'Excites' should be 'excite' to agree with the plural subject 'new cultures and new views' (subject-verb agreement). 'Very well' is unnatural here; use 'a lot' or 'greatly.'

× And I'm very undogmatic person, I would say.

✓ And I'm a very open-minded person, I would say.

'Undogmatic' is unusual in this context; 'open-minded' is a more natural adjective. Also include the indefinite article 'a' before 'very open-minded person.'

× So I would like to explore the cultures and I would like to have, uh, views.

✓ So I would like to explore the cultures and see the views.

'Have views' is awkward; use 'see the views' or 'experience the views.' Maintain parallel structure with verbs 'explore' and 'see.'

× Like in my country, the oceans are very much available, but mountains are rare.

✓ In my country, oceans are abundant, but mountains are rare.

'Very much available' is an awkward quantifier phrase. Use 'abundant' to concisely express that oceans are common. Also remove unnecessary article 'the' before 'oceans' when speaking generally.