Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photography helps me notice details I might otherwise miss. For example, when I photograph a sunset I focus on the changing colors and the way light falls on buildings, which helps me remember that moment clearly.

提案: Give a direct preference with clear reasons and specific details. Use linking words (however, although, because) and correct phrasing (e.g. "I grew up in"). Avoid vague phrases like "I noticed that so."

例: I prefer rural views because I grew up in the countryside and I appreciate natural landscapes. Although I now live in a city and enjoy its conveniences, I especially like open fields and quiet forests because they help me relax and feel connected to nature.

提案: Answer directly and structure your response: state preference, then give specific reasons and examples. Reduce filler words (uh) and avoid repetitive phrases. Use clearer vocabulary (diverse landscapes, mix of urban and natural scenery).

例: I enjoy views in both my country and others, but I find American landscapes especially varied. For example, in the United States you can see dramatic national parks, modern city skylines and coastal scenes all within a few hours' travel, which makes the scenery feel very diverse and interesting.

× I like taking pictures 'cause when I taking pictures I can see the world in other focus, so and I can take that view in this, in that moment, I can take that moment.

✓ I like taking pictures because when I take pictures I can see the world from a different perspective, and I can capture that view in the moment.

The phrase 'when I taking pictures' is incorrect because after 'when' we need a finite verb form, not the -ing form. This is a Verb + -ing form error (type 8). Use the simple present 'I take' for habitual actions. Also 'in other focus' is awkward; use 'from a different perspective' and 'take that moment' should be 'capture that view in the moment' for natural English. Suggestion: use simple present after time clauses for routines and choose appropriate collocations like 'capture a moment'.

× When I was young, I grew up in rural areas, so I always admire urban areas.

✓ When I was young, I grew up in a rural area, so I always admired urban areas.

The student used 'rural areas' but 'grew up in' typically pairs with 'a rural area' or 'the countryside' when speaking of a single upbringing location; this is a Singular and plural issue (type 1). Also 'admire' should be past 'admired' to match 'when I was young' (past context). Suggestion: match number and tense to context: use 'a rural area' and past tense for past-time descriptions.

× But now I'm living in urban areas, so the Mother Nature and the natural views are beautiful.

✓ But now I live in an urban area, so nature and the natural views are beautiful.

'I'm living' is acceptable for current continuous but 'live' is more natural for permanent residence; this is a Present tense issue (type 6). 'Urban areas' changed to 'an urban area' to match singular 'I live in'. 'the Mother Nature' is incorrect article usage and unnatural phrasing; use 'nature' without 'the' or 'Mother'. Suggestion: use simple present 'I live' for regular states and avoid unnecessary articles with 'nature'.

× I noticed that so.

✓ I have noticed that.

The original 'I noticed that so.' is ungrammatical and unclear — a Sentence structure error (type 26). For a present relevance comment, use present perfect 'I have noticed that.' If referring to a past observation, 'I noticed that' is fine without 'so.' Suggestion: remove 'so' or use appropriate tense: 'I have noticed that.'

× I like my country's view is pretty good, but when I, uh, travel to America, there's a lot of, uh, diverse views in there.

✓ I think my country's scenery is pretty good, but when I travel to America, there are a lot of diverse landscapes.

The sentence 'I like my country's view is pretty good' mixes structures; this is a There be issue (type 3) and sentence structure problem. Also 'there's a lot of ... views' should use plural 'there are a lot of ... views' because 'views' is plural. Suggestion: rephrase to 'I think my country's scenery is pretty good' and use 'there are' with plural nouns.

× So I like America's view because they have Mother Nature and urban areas and other and diverse peoples.

✓ So I like America's scenery because it has natural landscapes, urban areas, and diverse people.

Errors include inappropriate capitalization 'Mother Nature', awkward 'other and diverse peoples', and subject-pronoun disagreement 'they have' referring to 'America' (country treated as singular). This is an Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs issue (type 13) combined with pronoun/number problems; focus here on adjective/noun choices. Use 'scenery' or 'landscapes' and 'diverse people' (uncountable/plural noun 'people' is fine). Suggestion: use consistent noun choices and correct agreement: 'America...it has...diverse people.'

× So there's many.

✓ So there are many.

'There's many' is incorrect because 'there's' contracts 'there is' which requires singular; with 'many' (plural) use 'there are many.' This is a Singular and plural issue (type 1). Suggestion: use 'there are' with plural nouns or 'there's a lot' with singular/uncountable reference.