Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition; start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Mention one vivid example (time/place) to make the answer more memorable.

例: Yes, I do. I especially enjoy photographing mountain landscapes when I go trekking because the light at sunrise creates dramatic shadows and colors. For example, last summer I captured sunrise views at Mount X and shared the best shots on Instagram.

提案: Avoid fillers and repetition; give a clear topic sentence and one or two reasons with a linking word. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'rural' or 'natural landscapes') and a brief contrast with urban views.

例: I prefer rural or natural landscapes rather than urban views because I find mountains and forests more peaceful and visually striking. Although cities have interesting architecture, they feel crowded compared with wide-open mountain panoramas.

提案: Remove hesitations and make a confident statement. Give a reason and a short future plan using linking words. Be specific about what you like locally and what you hope to see abroad.

例: For now I prefer views in my own country because I haven't had the chance to travel abroad and our local landscapes are beautiful and familiar. However, in the future I plan to visit Europe to see places like the Swiss Alps and historic cityscapes.

× Later on, I share it with my friends online on social media platforms like Instagram.

✓ Later on, I share them with my friends online on social media platforms like Instagram.

The pronoun 'it' refers to 'pictures' which is plural, so the correct pronoun is 'them'. Use plural pronouns to match plural nouns. Suggestion: ensure pronoun number matches the noun it replaces.

× Oh like I said earlier, I I I love to travel on mountains and nature with scenic views so I prefer the majestic views rather than the urban areas.

✓ Oh, like I said earlier, I love to travel to mountains and natural areas with scenic views, so I prefer the majestic views rather than urban areas.

Multiple issues: 'I I I' is a speech disfluency (remove repeats). Use the preposition 'to' with 'travel to mountains'. 'Nature' as a noun should be 'natural areas' to match meaning. 'the urban areas' should be 'urban areas' because referring to urban areas in general does not require 'the'. Suggestions: remove repeated filler words, use correct prepositions, and use parallel noun phrases.

× Uh, since I, I really don't have that privilege to travel to other country and view for now, uh, I love to see views in my country.

✓ Uh, since I really don't have the privilege to travel to other countries and see views for now, I love to see views in my country.

Use plural 'other countries' when speaking generally. The verb 'see views' is more natural than 'view'. Remove repeated 'I' and unnecessary filler words. Also 'that privilege' can be 'the privilege' or 'that privilege' but here 'the privilege' or no article works; corrected to 'the privilege'. Suggestion: use plural for general references and use natural verb collocations like 'see views'.

× Later on in future, I'm planning to visit Europe.

✓ Later in the future, I'm planning to visit Europe.

The phrase 'Later on in future' is ungrammatical. Common expressions are 'later', 'in the future', or 'later in the future'. Selected 'Later in the future' to keep speaker's intended meaning. Suggestion: use standard temporal phrases such as 'in the future' or 'later this year' as appropriate.